A
female
age
30-35,
*izz.butterflies
writes:Hey people..I recently met a guy ..we have chemistry, but the thing is he's not that educated aka we cant talk about philosophy, literature etc. Sex-wise I'm attracted to him but then again I dont know if I could be satisfied with a sexual relationship. I slept at his house last night, we didnt have sex...in the morning I met his mom...and I cooked with him. He's supposed to come see me tommorow...and I'm nervous.Problem is...He's a little immature.(one year younger than me)The thing is I never find someone who comvbines both sexyness and brains! So what do I do? Sleep with him? (We been seeing each other for 2-3 weeks now) and see how it goes from there? Or stop seeing him and keep looking for an african american male? That is so rare to find here??I hear opinions.Thanks for your time !
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): I am not really seeing the "brains" in of any of this. The overtone I see here is not of high intellect but of youthful arrogance and assumptions.
All that may seem rude, but I would bet that most any "brainy" guy you meet will be less than impressed with your ability to use basic logic. Then again he would probably be smart enough to let you believe you were Gods gift to higher thinking. I certainly hope you become more worldly because you are setting up to get out maneuvered in this little chess game.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (9 November 2009):
mizz.butterflies is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks to all of you guys...Yes I do plan on moving to the states,initially to get my masters and then settle down. I am not just sexually attracted to him. I have fun when I'm with him.We crack jokes,he makes me laugh (humor is imporant to me and most greek guys once again have a horrible sense of humor).This guy isnt african american.he's half greek half dominican (Dominican Republic)Some would suggest that I should keep him as a fuck buddy.He can come to my town see me,spend some time out and then have sex.But I simply can't do that.THE LATEST NEWS : He's been asking me to be his woman,but honestly I dont feel like I'm the only one that he's seeing...even though I met his mom.That doesnt mean nothing though.He's good looking and he knows it and since he's "rare",he attracts many girls.When I went to see him,I went to a club with him and his brother. He kinda pissed me off because he wasnt very warm with me,so I pretended I looked at another guy and waved at him.I did this to see how he would react.When we got home,he did talk about it and said I disrespected him and he would never do such a thing to me. But then again,I do not trust him. It's just that I feel things ain't right. Now I wonder whether I should talk to him about us being exclusive. I've known him for 3 weeks now and I appeared really easy going to him,which I am,but when it comes to having sex with him,I cant disrespect myself and accept the fact that he might be sleeping with other chicks.(even though he makes me think he doesn't.)So what is the best way to approach this?Thanks again =)
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (8 November 2009):
 it's okay to be picky because love does happen and it will.
your just sexually atractted to this guy, so call it a fling, gain some experience and if you really don't think it's right, bite the bullet and break up with him. Don't string him along though, if he starts falling for you, you HAVE to straighten it out.
good luck
xx
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A
female
reader, Mrs.McMeow +, writes (8 November 2009):
 1.) Never sleep with a man that cant keep up with your intellect. It causes problems and you wonder why your laying next to this blubbering idiot even though he is sexy2.) Guys come in all shapes sizes and colors if he has brains and he is hot give him a chance. You seem really down to earth and really smart use that as an advantage in your life
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 November 2009):
 You're wrong. I'm brown. I could pass for Greek to you. But I'm much older, sorry; I could be your father.
I think you're perfectly OK in not wanting another Greek guy. They are too much like you, aren't they? And that makes them BORING. Not that Greeks are boring. I have nothing against Greeks (save for those word roots my mother keeps repeating: "hecto, one hundred..." you get the point). What I mean is that there's not much fun in being with someone who is absolutely predictable. Am I right?
But, I still think you need someone else :-).
Would you have a big but slender Greek wedding?
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (8 November 2009):
mizz.butterflies is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ daniel
I am guessing you're white. White guys are perfectly ok.
I am not talking about race.It's about nationality. I am from Greece and greek guys just don't do it for me.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (8 November 2009):
Mizz Butterflies, since you have a preference and I am NOT an African American, I feel confident and free to tell you that I am sexy and smart. However, we can only be poster and uncle. Now, I will try to answer your post.
Quite honestly, I am afraid that your problem is not so much that he can't discuss philosophy (which is kind of good, believe me), but that you're not really into him. People do have preferences, yes, but people kind of forget about those preferences when they find someone they really, really like. Or, when they find someone they are so sexually attracted to that they "discover their tolerant side" and sleep with the person.
Maybe this man is an African American, and that is why you don't want to let go of him? If you're not that attracted to him, you can let go and find someone else.
By the way, I don't think it is a problem to find a partner who gets you hooked on (sexually and otherwise). But that's me.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (8 November 2009):
mizz.butterflies is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBTW :
I wrote this at 4 am so it seems a tad immature. I do have options but the problem is I'm very picky. So losing this guy will be kind of stupid...i mean let's be real here. When you're not sexually attracted to someone (and you will only have sex with them if you develop strong feelings) - (The guy might be goodlooking but Like I said,I prefer men of a specific race. ) do you drop a guy you're sexually attracted to,he takes you out to clubs and restaurants and you have a nice time with him because he can't fullfil your need for more matture conversations?
The thing is...I'm scared that I might get hooked on him (sexually) ..I'm not a virgin but I never had good sex and I know the sex with him will be good (We got great sexual chemistry)....so then i will be miserable because my relationship wont be fullfiling.
Thanks for your time guys
BTW i am not racist I just have a preference.
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