A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi aunts and uncles i'd really like to know how to be confidenti've never really had the confidence in myself and i've never known how to have it either.everytime i think positive something knocks me back so i fight back and try again.i've got a friend whose like really mouthy don't care what she says to people and doesn't dress herself up if she doesn't have too like she'll leave her hair really greasy and just tie it up and no make up all in all just wears whatever whether it's sweats and stuff or no make up, but boys still find her fit and stuff i think why?she's not really a nice person she's never really happy always complaining about her mum and dad she's got a kid the father doesn't want to know and shes with a guy whom she's already cheated on but won't tell him and said she never will.how can i become more confident...? i don't want to be like her and all mouthy and stuff i just want confidence that she clearly has.i've got alot of great qualities i'm talkative and polite i'm a really nice person and great listener i'm pretty always happy but they prefer her and i just feel maybe i don't have enough confidence.If anyone can help that would be great thank you :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you rifraf and blod!
you guys are right i do respect myself a HELL of alot more than her i'd definately never lower myself to sleep around with people it's not me.
she on the other hand as i've said has a boyfriend cheated on him with her ex boyfriends mate (ex boyfriend she got a kid with) because she wants this friend of her exes to tell him that he slept with her pathetic if you ask me.
and she went to alton towers with her current boyfriend and his cousin whose about 19/20 and she told me he was gorgeous so i was like oh right ok and she said you know i would i was like yeah but you can't you got a boyfriend she was like yea true but i would anyways.
she is so disrespectful she even had her first time with a married man with kids in her work place!
i'm so disgusted with her to be honest her mum is really strong catholic as well. shes just changed a hell of a lot and is like a bike really.
sorry for the little add on.
but thank you again i just wanted to show you i do respect myself more than her and i would treat my boyfriend (if i had one) with respect and never do anything like cheat because i feel so strongly about it and i DEFINATELY wouldn't sleep around like her.
i'm a better person than that.
so thanks
A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (23 June 2009):
 Well if you're the person you say you are then you have no reason to not have self-confidence. You seem pretty grounded, and you do sound quite confident coz you can see the good qualities in yourself. You've just got a quiet confidence. Just because someone is mouthy, it doesn't mean they're confident. It can mean the opposite.
Just be yourself and do what you think is right. Then you shouldn't feel bad about yourself. At the end of the day, your life is yours and you should do what you feel is right. Gaining confidence takes time. X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionaw thank you all :)
especially VBA you are right she is easy i know its mean to say but she is she will sleep with anyone she thinks is goodlooking that's all she goes for is looks no personality the guys she's been with have been arses i've always helped her through but you know she is easy she will sleep with anyone to get what she wants.
and mediocreland i do say hi to strangers like guys i did that yesterday lol i often do it :) i'm just a bubbly person everyone who knows me say i have a bubbly personality and stuff so i'm happy with who i am i just want to give out the confidence.
thank you folks :)
you inspire me :) i mean it
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A
female
reader, mediocreland  +, writes (23 June 2009):
The easiest way for me to be confident is to fake it. I always feel better when I hold my head high and my shoulders back to give off a confident appearence. You don't have to dress like you don't care or anything, body posture says it all.
If you don't want to be mouthy, you could always try just slightly stepping out of your comfort zone whenever something happens. Like if you're shy around strangers, just do something little like say hi first. If you make the effort to step out of your comfort zone it'll definately boost your confidence.
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A
male
reader, vba67 +, writes (23 June 2009):
Just continue to be yourself, in the end your qualities will be more desirable to men as you mature. Your friend sounds like she's easy, water will always take the easiest path.
Maybe the men around you do not know how to approach you, because of the way you carry yourself (In a very positive way) or they are just looking for a easy score (your friend). Just have confidence in your qualities you stated and everything will be alright.
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