A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My friends too confusing.Ive been good friends with my friend for around three years. Recently we have got loads closer and was seeing eachother/phoning/texting each other loads. There wasn't a day go by without half a dozen texts from her or a 2 hour phone call, and i was starting to think she had developed other feelings for me because of the things she would say, that i thought you just wouldnt say if not, but this hasn't put me off her because i love her dearly as a friend. Then she appeared to get jealous if i saw or texted other friends, so i just stayed closer to her. For a day i didn't hear anything from her so i thought id text her see what she was upto and make conversation. It took her ages to text back and her reply was just literally three words and there was no effort for her to make conversation with me, like she usually does because usually shes really chatty and its normally her that gets in touch with me first, also (this sounds quite petty, i know but..) there was no 'x' at the end of the text like usual, so i took the hint and didnt text back because i thought maybe shes in a bad mood or something. That night i signed on msn, she's normally on and again normally the one that starts a conversation with me but she didnt. So i started a convo with her, she did talk back, her replies taking longer than usual but she made me feel like she didnt want to talk to me so i felt like i was doing all the talking, eventually i decided to let her be that way and i said im off cya xx, and signed out. The following day i heard nothing from her either; which is strange because of how close we have become in the last few weeks. I really do enjoy her company and so i was thinking shall i text her or not... i gave in and text her one of our jokes we have and made conversation for her to text back but she never did, so i haven't made an effort since. Im quite gutted though because i really like her and im just confused why she's being like this. I feel like now im doing all the chasing when in all honesty it was her that was before. any suggestions why shes been like this? because im just confused and like her im too stubborn to make the first move and ask whats wrong with her because i haven't done anything at all to upset her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): Communication is the key. You need to simply talk to her -- preferably face to face -- and ask her what's up. Be careful, though, about spilling your guts about your feelings for her (assuming you have strong feelings for her -- and Im guessing you do). If you do that, she could use it as more leverage in the relationship. Think about it -- she's already got you wondering. Remember, the one who cares the least has the most power in a relationship (that sounds awful, but it is sadly so true). Be casual, calm and simply ask her what is up?
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (10 August 2008):
Well why do you assume it is something you did? Her mum may have died or something. Not everything in this girls life has to revolve around you.
If she is upset, and she obviously is, then as her friend surely you would want to be there for her and find out what is wrong, even if it is a misunderstanding between you two.
If you are too proud to say "are you ok, you seem quiet" then you are not much of a friend.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Limits  +, writes (10 August 2008):
Hi,
I think the best thing to do is to ask her to meet somewhere you used to go to and talk this over a coffee or something...sometimes it's amazing how insignificant things can be interpreted in the wrong ways sometimes so the best way would be to meet and talk about it in a straight and plain way....maybe starting with the question "did I do something which might have upset you in these last few days?"...good luck!
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (10 August 2008):
 if she matters to you, you need to give up your stubbornness and tell her things straight up. say something along the lines of:
"hi... are you okay? we haven't been talking as much lately and i miss you. i feel that you have been avoiding me. i'm really confused, can i do something to fix things?"
and hope she is mature enough to answer back honestly! you will probably want to do this over the phone, too, so you can hear her voice. texts can be deceiving.
good luck!
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