A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:can anyone advise me plaease. its taken me 2.5 years to realise the guy i thought was a dear friend has been using me and scamming me for money. i saved him from getting sacked and believed all his sob stories about being in financial trouble when all along hes been lying to me and using me to reduce the debt on his payday loans even though he claimed not to have any !!!!! hes had money for other stuff and i genuinely thought i was helping him. now hes announced hes leaving to move to nottingham with his new girlfriend. is he going to have a personality transplant or will he always be a liar and a cheat. im so angry. what would you advise please help.i want to be the bigger person :(
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (25 October 2011):
It must really hurt. The best thing is to cut this man out of your life forever. Change your number and remove his. People like that are the reason people live in fear of each other.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 October 2011):
 Yes, he will always be a liar, cheat and scammer. It has worked for him with you and mot likely countless others.
Learn from this. Take away that giving money to people is not always the "right" thing to do.
If the amount is big enough and you have ACTUAL proof that you lend it to him, I'd hire a solicitor. I would also consider filing a complaint with the police. If the amount is significant.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (25 October 2011):
 People like that normanally never change, he done a terrible thing in taking advantage of your kindness, if you want to be the bigger person let him get on with it someone like that cannot be your friend i would stop contacting him and if you have to take him to court or seek legal advise to try and get your money back.
He's nothing more that a liar and a cheat in future just don't lend money to people as these days people will take advantage of you as soon as they get the chance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): I'm very sorry to hear this has happened to you. You can tell him, either in person or maybe write him a message, about what he has done and how much it has hurt you, which may help you to get a little bit of closure for this. Apart from that, the best thing to do would be to not have any contact with him, and don't involve him in your life
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): The best advice I can give you is to learn from your mistakes. You were blatantly conned, but you can avoid this situation in the future. These kinds of things happen to everybody, but unfortunately for you it was more detrimental than usual. It will probably be harder for you to trust people, especially when it comes to money. That's normal though. A little skepticism never hurt anybody. Be cautious next time. Nothing more you can do about your current situation, but to forget about it. Live and Learn.
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