A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm really stressed someone please help me. My parents have argued a lot but this time it has got really serious. So bad that my dad has said too much and my mum is in extreme severe depression and at a point where she cant even control her own actions and is scared she'll do somethin like commit suicide. She's tried before. I'm so scared. I haven't left her until i can hear her sleep and i'm here writing this.My dad's words kill her. I've told my dad to keep his mouth shut which he now has. She cries alot. Can someone please help me. I need advise on how to cure her depression or get her mind off things. She's takin anti-depresant tablets today. Are there free councilers who come to peoples houses because i would like someone talk to my mum whilst i'm there. I've taken days of work and college to stay with my mum at all times.Obviously i love her and cant see her destroyed. So i need help on solutions. I'm worried sick about her i haven't eaten since morning and its night now, i cant get to sleep either. Thank you so much for whoever help me out there for me durin this difficult time.... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (23 November 2007):
 Hi HUnny, you other depression is rubbing off on you. Yes there are free councillors who come to your house. If you cannot convince your mother to o to the gp, then you will have to go in her place. make sure she keeps on the antidepressants, they take a few weeks to kick in, but they will help her cope so much better when they do. If se stops taking them she will crash and go into critical depression, so monitor her taking them daily at roughly the same time each eveing.
Ok so if you hav to go to the gp in her stead. Gop tell the doc how desperate you and your mum are, tell him she needs therepy and counceling, tell the doc you want someone who will come to the house.
They have a list of different type of councilor, you will have to work out between you which type will best suit your mothers needs, they all have ifferent styles. Ive had some poor councelor and some great ones, If the first oe is no good, get another and another till you get one that is right for her.
You dont say what the problem is wth your father. I think that your dad needs to realise what he is doing to her and probably needs a little counceling himself.
I hope you get something sorted for both of you real soon. Your a good daughter, I wish all daugters were as caring as you.
Take care of your own health mental and phsical too. xxxxxx
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (23 November 2007):
 Hi there. Sorry to hear about your Mum and Dad. It's difficult for you, when they are like this. Well done.
What I say applies to England. If you are in another region the situation may be very slightly different.
If your Mum has anti-depressant tablets, then she has already been to the doctor. Sometimes the GP/doctor will offer drug treatment and talking therapy - counselling. Your Mum needs to go back to her GP and ask for some "talking therapy" in addition to her tablets. The anti-depressant tablets will take between 7 - 21 days normally before fully effective. Make sure she keeps taking them. You might hear something like : " these tablets are no good. They don't do anything." They do work. She needs to keep taking them.
Sometimes people threaten suicide and don't actually mean it. The problem is that it is difficult to tell the difference between those that threaten and those that do. So, here is the phone number for The Samaritans:
08457 90 90 90 she can phone anytime - day or night.
You can also go to their website http://www.samaritans.org//
and you can email them. For example you could email what you have posted here and see what they say. They could give more advice and information.
ECT has been mentioned as a treatment. It is normally only used as a last resort in the UK. My understanding is that it is not 100% effective and it does have side effects. In any event, this decision is taken by a qualified doctor. Our health system is different to the US.
So - you're doing OK. Make sure your Mum continues to take the tablets. Asking your dad to back off was a good idea to give her some space. Talk to your Mum about going to her doctor and asking for some talking therapy/counselling. Give your Mum the Samaritans phone number and tell her to keep it with her (programme it into her phone).
Well done.
Richard
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (23 November 2007):
 I hope you understand this. Sometimes when dealing with real mental issues, we want a ready answer, but at times there isn't any. This is beyond your control aside from doing what you're doing now. Did she just take the anti-depressant this morning? Many anti-depressant build up in your system and a difference may not be noticed until it's been taken for a couple of weeks.
There is one treatment that most people use as a last resort, but doctors I've spoken to say it should be the first with major depressive disorder. It has a 100% success rate and no known side affects. It's called ECT (Electro Convulsive Treatment) Because of the name and knowing it's "shock treatment" people generally use it as a last result. There are many cases where someone goes through years of medication, then chooses ECT, and instantly no more depression.
I hope this helps, and tell your dad to be nice. He may even have to begin talking to her in a positive way to begin building her self esteem and altering these negative emotions.
Take care.
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