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I moved in with my boyfriend but I feel homesick

Tagged as: Family, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 June 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, *ark11 writes:

Hello i am 21 years old and got a wonderful boyfriend called Rick who i love. recently i moved with him when he got a promation to Wales. i love it but the problem is that im feeling homesick. i recently told Rick he it it was normal as this the first time i had`nt had my family around me. and he is fine with me travelling but when i am back home i really miss Rick. what can i do?

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A male reader, jc2008 United Kingdom +, writes (21 June 2011):

I'd say go out and do more things with Rick to keep yourselves busy and hopefully less homesick. Go out and meet new people too, life goes on.

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (21 June 2011):

Hi there. It is good to keep in contact with your family because otherwise you are homesick for them. In between visits you could call them.

You are naturally going to miss Rick when you are home visiting your family.

It's one of those things that no matter where you are, you are going to miss the person you are not with. It's inevitable. If you want to stay in a relationship with Rick, this is the way it's going to be - unless he gets a transfer back to where he was in his home town. Or else applies for a different job altogether with a different company, that is back in his home town.

At the moment you can't be with both at the same time - Rick and your family - it's just not geographically possible.

If living with Rick and missing your family makes you very unhappy, well it's probably only going to get worse over time.

There's also the cost involved with visiting your family on a regular basis. That's something else to consider.

Is this promotion of his, for a set period of time, or is it a permanent situation? If you can find this out from him, it might help you in deciding.

Because you are already unhappy about it, it's eventually going to cause a few arguments between you and him. If this is already happening now, it can only get worse.

Over a few months, it could even drive a wedge between you and Rick.

If you were to move back with your parents, well then you are in a Long Distance Relationship, which has it's own set of problems - loneliness being the main one and then trust issues.

This is just a few things to consider in reaching some kind of decision on whether you believe it could work the way it is at the moment.

So it's either:-

(1) Living with Rick and every so often, go home and see your family.

OR

(2) Moving back with your family and go and visit Rick every so often and in between it would just be phone calls. The LDR thing. You and Rick would probably tire of the LDR situation rather quickly. Especially as it won't compare very well with actually living together.

For now though, see how it all pans out over time because it does seem like this situation is only quite new at the moment, so you can't really foresee what the future might hold just yet.

You will have to be very patient with it and see if you can make it work for you. Only time will tell. Give it at least 6 months or so, to see how you both feel then.

At all times, let your heart be your guide. If something doesn't feel right to you, then act upon those feelings accordingly. Listen to what your heart is telling you.

Only you can decide regarding this, so it's just a matter of taking everything into consideration and weighing it all up rationally.

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A male reader, AvgGuy1 United States +, writes (21 June 2011):

AvgGuy1 agony auntWell... that's something you're gonna have to figure out on your own. But... from my perspective... I'd say live with him and just get over the home-sickness. It's rough but you'll eventually get over it. I had the same problem when I moved 1/2 way across the country to go to school. It's really tough... but you get over it... and eventually you'll end up loving being away from home.

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