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female
age
41-50,
*uimui
writes: torn between daughter and my family....I really need some advice and different point of views.Me and my 2 year old daughter's dad split up about 6 mths ago, ever since she has been living with him. I moved about 100 miles away from him with my other 2 children as he was causing me and my family alot of trouble and grief. During this 6 mths he stopped me seeing our daughter for 3 mths until recently. I have started to see my daughter once a week because of work and the distance between us. My family wasn t happy with this at all especially my parents, we use to be close but since i started to see my baby again it has been very awkward. My ex has always said that he will never let me have custody of our baby, and he will make it very difficult for me to see her. Things between me and him are fine right now as we are sort of seeing each other but i know deep down inside of me this will never last as I cannot forgive him for what he has done to me.... I don t know why I have let him in my life again... maybe for our daughter's sake, as I think if I please him then he let me see more of my daughter!! silly? I know my family will never forgive me for going back to him but what can I do???? Its like I have to choose between my baby daughter and my family. I know that i won't be able to go through life without my baby daughter...help!!!!
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female
reader, angeltears  +, writes (21 January 2008):
i understand what you are going thru as my best friend went thru the same ordeal.it is painful i understand but you have to do what is best in the interests of the children,you are their mother and they deserve to be with you,dont get back with him just for the children,do what is right for you.Go and see a solicitor this instance and go thru the court to get custodial rights of the children,they will never give the children to the father unless the mother does drugs or is an alcholic or abuse the children.my bestfriend went thru the courts because her exhusband threatend to take the kids if she left,she then went thru court and had full custody of the children.Be strong and fight for the children.goodluck.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 I know you may not get this, since it's kind of old. You'll have to go through the courts. You say it's easier pleasing him for more time with your daughter. If you can prove he's using sex as a tool for visitation, that is really against the law and grounds for a modification of custody.
Remember this. In custody cases the #1 thing courts look at when deciding the case is: Which parent will best work with the other parent in the best interest of the child.
He said he'd never give you custody, he doesn't have to and it's not his choice at all.
Also during the time of separation, no parent can withhold visitation from the other natural parent of the child, it's call alienation. Prior to court both parents are allowed, by law, equal access to visiting a child.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): I am going through the same thing with my daughter.please do what im doing i got a lawyer and im fighting for her.if anything you will atleast get visitation and you wont have to do what he wants to see your daughter. if you keep putting up with him it will only get worse he will keep asking for more and more until its impossible. i am speaking from experience. your daughter will thank you in the end for fighting, when she gets older she will see it is her dad that was the one who was trying to keep you two apart. he is digging his own grave
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A
female
reader, charmed4eva353 +, writes (22 December 2006):
 I'd see leagal advice because it would not be right for your little girl if you and him were back together and in a false relationship. have you ever concidered moving nearer to be with her more. you should defetnatly seek legal advice on this one because that little girl is just as much yours as she is his.
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