A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I met someone online 4years back when I was 17 - 18, so I joined in just for fun..members were not really serious about relationships but everyone was there after a breakup or divorce. And I decided to hide my identity and just to have chat with everyone and then I met 'him'. Conversations with him at first was Just like others. Since I hid my identity with everyone I did it with him too.lied about my name, country, college, race, face and age too but sooner we developed feelings for each other. I tried deleting and blocking but every time I went back to him or he dragged.I know it's all wrong but I can't help it anyomre. This is making me go crazy and I cry everynight.I have no courage to tell him the truth either.I know I should have told him the truth earlier but then it was just for fun and now I am guilty! Please help!!I am really sick now.
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female
reader, Justineme  +, writes (15 December 2017):
Hello...did you eventually tell him? What was his reaction? I did exactly same stupid thing with a guy online,for over 4 years now...same as you I don't know what to do....it s pretty serious lying so much but,one lie leads to another and another and another! Pls let me know how u sort it out girl.thanks
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 June 2017):
 Poor guy, and yes you should feel guilty! But you where young and you wanted to chat on line so its time to put a line through it and STOP LYING! Tell him the truth and then no more lies to anybody else, it is not okay to mess with peoples lives like that. NEVER!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2017): Unfortunately the internet is full of liars lying about their age,looks,marital status..etc.etc. I think confessing to him the real you will not salvage your relation so in my opinion the best thing is to cut all contacts with him, simply disappear from his life, even cancel that sharade account of you and let this be a lesson not to lie again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2017): Stop lying
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (23 June 2017):
 I have to correct you. You have not "developed feelings for each other". At best HE has developed feelings for the person you have been pretending to be. Who is to say he has not been doing the same? If not, and he has been honest, then he is likely to be very hurt and confused when he learns the truth.
I am also concerned that you are crying yourself to sleep over someone you have never even met, let alone been honest with. You have to prepare yourself for him (if indeed he IS a he!) never wanting any contact from you again. Or even admitting he too has been lying and is not who he pretended to be. Then how will YOU feel?
I think you need to go out more and spend more time in the real world with real people instead of playing games on the internet.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (22 June 2017):
 I've been on DC for over 10 years and I've seen this kind of post numerous times. Sadly, it never ends too well. I'm confused about the fact that in 4 years you never video chatted? Never exchanged any more photos? Never met??
Denizen is right, its possible that the guy you are talking to isn't who you might think either. Who knows? The internet is a breeding ground for people to lie about who/what they are, and unless you actually meet people and spend time with them you aren't really going to know.
At this point, all you can do is be honest with him. You must be prepared for the fact that he may be hurt/angry and never speak to you again. I honestly don't know how on earth you are going to explain being deceitful for 4 years??? You aren't anything like what you told him (your words) so basically you are a total stranger to him. I really don't know how this could turn out good. All you can do is try to explain. No more lies. There will not be an easy way to tell him either except to just come right out with it. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 June 2017):
 I think you should come clean and at the same time ACCEPT if he wants NOTHING to do with you afterward. you didn't just give a small white lie, you lied about EVERYTHING and for 4 years!! You have had 4 years, to tell the truth in and you didn't so forgive me for saying you have wasted 4 years of YOUR life and 4 years of HIS with these inane lies.
If someone had lied to me for 4 years about everything they had told me about themselves, I would cut them out of my life in a heartbeat. Think about it HOW would you feel if you had been honest and HE had lied to you for 4 years?
I think it's unforgivable. Sorry, to be so blunt.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (22 June 2017):
 Why can't you tell him now? What is stopping you? For all you know he may have been lying too. It isn't unheard of on the interweb.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (22 June 2017):
 how well do you know him if you only know him on line , many people are said to do as you did , some people are better at finding out the ones that are false then I am , I have come across some women that are men , why people do this I don't know , but as you don't say a lot about what you have told him i think you are aswing a bit much , you played a game and lost me thinks ,
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