A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my ex 9 months ago, he moved in with another girl shortly after me, I have stayed on my own,but he still keeps texting me, and i meet up with him every few weeks, he says he loves me, and hes gonna leave her, but hasnt never followed it through, he doesnt know what he wants and its just messing with my head.I've put up with it cos I love him....Anyway i've met a guy, he knows the situation, and wants a relationship with me...I said i'm not ready to put a label on things yet.i'm hanging on to my ex in a way. I don't know whether to have a relationship with this guy or not...he has everything,makes me laugh,enjoy his company..but i'm taking things slow, but should i hold back, or just take this chance on something good, and hopefully i'll be saved! i do like this guy more than a friend,i can't keep away from him!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): I ditched my ex! dont believe i did it! after so long i told him to leave me alone and stop hurting me,and he hasnt been in touch since.
Anyhow, this new guy has totally thrown me off! He threatened 1 of my lad mates, cos a was speaking to him at a party!! then later he asked why i wasnt going out with him, that hes waited a month for me, them he started crying uncontrolably! now i just dont know what to do!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): So agree with all the Aunts on this page. As long as you keep hanging onto your ex bf, he will interfere with all your attempts at future happiness and that not fair to new love interests that cross your path in life. You my dear..still have baggage and the only way to rid yourself of it is to say the big final goodbye to your ex bf. A good way to begin, is to completely stop all contact with him. He using you as a "backup girl' just in case his current relationship doesn't pan out. I think you know you are better than being treated second rate here. Don't allow yourself to be treated in such a way. Go for a guy who'll put you first. Get over the ex and then get out there and date this other fellow or anyone you you like. Good luck, dear
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A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Some guys tend to cling after ending a relationship. He might have moved on too fast thus making a bad choice with his new partner. However, the clue here is: he moved on! And you should do the same.
I think an honest conversation with you current friend would be a good start. If you don't feel like having a "labeled" relationship yet, then don't. You can talk and establish boundaries to be followed by both of you: monogamy and sincerity above all for example. Spend time with him and get to know him better until you are ready to commit to an other level.
Meanwhile, work on cutting off all emotional ties with your ex. Possibilities of him coming back and getting back together shouldn't be there. If somewhere down the road you meet again and are the both free, that will be a new story; but you need to close this book for your own good. It is easy for him to have you available whenever he calls, don't do that to yourself!
Best of lucks.
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A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 I agree with the other two posts. Its better to start a new then hold onto something that is really just a waste of your time.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (9 November 2007):
 I would give this other guy a chance. He sounds really nice and he makes you feel good. You don't say why you broke up with your ex but he certainly didn't wait long before moving on with his life. He's going to leave her? WHEN??? As long as he's LIVING with another woman I wouldn't give him the time of day! He's already made his choice and is just trying to hold on to you in case things don't work out with her and of course he's not being fair to her either. If he still be close to you while living with someone else then he can do the exact same thing to YOU if you ever lived together.
Cut your ties from him and give this other guy a chance. I really think he'll make you much happier.
Eve
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Ditch the ex. Don't put yourself through the ringer for him. he's obviously not willing to commit to you or his actual girlfriend. that will always be trouble. you seem to have met a great single guy, focus on him. He deserves your attention.
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