A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help please,I met a man on a dating site. i contacted him first then he sent me hello message for free. Then he dissapeared for 1 month then suddenly he added me as a favourite and paid money to become a member to send me a message he told me thanks for contacting me and that he would like to meet me soon and talk . So we exchanged emails, photos he even told me to talk to my family about him because he does not want rejection and a broken heart is the worst. So i told them and all were happy for me. So after some time we met for tea he did not care about his appearance at all he looked very unneat. I was more interested in getting to know him more so i did not care much .He told me he took long to contact me cause he thought we had nothing in common and that he was busy travelling back and forth.Then he told me that women always promise you things and never do them. SO I asked him 'do you a problem with women' he answered is that a question or a statement. Then he said i dont want to be hurt.He also told me that people always ask him why he is single at 45 he says i dont need a woman to be complete. He also told me that he had lived with women before and even wanted to get married but he prefered to travel.But his last relationship was bad he said. So he told me that he is travelling for 2 weeks and when he comes back we will see. He even told me to send him emails. But i notice that all the emails he was sending me were general like how is famliy be a good person things like that, and nothing about us. SO he came back and i knew that he had come back a week ago but he did not tell me until i sent him an email He told me enjoy life cause life is short.When i told him that am going through too pain from bad friends he told me move to another country so i decided to call him ,when he saw my number he switched off his phone. Then i sent him an email saying that i had sent him gift he did not answer.So please tell me is this man dishonest or someting else. And if he contacts me again should i respond
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 He seems very iffy. Too many little alarm bells are going off in my head reading your post.
I'm guessing they did for you too. Trust your gut and cut your losses.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 This guy just isnt really interested in you I'm afraid. If he cared about you and wanted to get to know you better he would not switch off his phone when you called, or ignore your emails.
Men like this are a complete waste of time - he is only on that dating site to meet as many women as he can and when one starts to get too close (like you did) then he ignores them and hopes the problem will go away.
Dont send him any more gifts, dont email him or call him any more. This man is wasting your time, so delete his number and email address and move on with your life. If he does contact you again then all you need to tell him is that you are not interested in him and wish him all the best for the future. Just be polite but make it clear you do not want to be in contact with him any more.
Unfortunately you get a lot of these types of men on dating sites, there is no real explanation behind their behaviour so you just have to accept that he is one of life's losers and move on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 February 2010):
Get a million miles away from this man. Either he is in it for the sex, or he has a hugely low opinion of women. Stay away from him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): Hi. If i were you i would stop pursuing this man. Hes clearly not that interested in anything with you and he sounds rather odd. If hes on dating sites and going off, you dont really know what hes up to. Just walk away and leave him to his mysterious comings and goings.
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