A
female
age
36-40,
*loma
writes:this is too detailed.. but i think it's better so that the whole situation will be understood clearly..We had been going out for 2 years and 10 months.. We saw each other almost everyday when he comes home from school and when my work for the day is done. He's turning 26 this friday (jan14), and I'm 24..Last Saturday (jan8), we went to a small party with his classmates and one of their professors was with them too. we were seated at a table, 8 of us. We were having fun, talking, singing.. but I had too much to drink. And I couldn't remember much after..his professor drove me home after the party and told me that it was all a misunderstanding and that things will get better in a while.. at that time i knew that we fought but I didn't know the whole situation.when I woke up the next day, i got a text message from an unknown number and it was reinier one of the guests in the party.. he asked me how I was. i still did not know about the situation.. so i innocently replied.. until the fight the night before was brought up. he told me that he was talking to the one seated beside him, melvin. reinier told melvin that if he wanted to stay at his house he can sleep in his room but they shouldn't sleep beside each other. and out of the blue he told me that I blurted out "i'll lay beside you".when my boyfriend heard that, (he was beside me) he told me "is that so... from now on, we're done".. and then all of a sudden (this, i remember vaguely but i also do not know why that was brought up) I told him about the girl i knew that he was flirting with.. when I'm not around.his friends and his professor were trying to fix the situation and they were telling bf that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding.. they were also defending my boyfriend that the girl that he was flirting with was nothing and that this girl really flirts with anyone. but he didn't listen to any of them and stuck to his argument.. that he wanted to break up with me.i was really surprised and shocked. really shocked that I did that because i barely knew the person and before anything else... I was too drunk to remember that.. and that guy, reinier was NOT my type at all.. and I'm really, really, really sure of it. not attracted at all. so when i learned about it i was really shocked.. I never imagined myself to be with him. this may be a shallow factor but i think i need to bring it up too.. one reason is that he didn't look good.. so anyway, i rushed to my boyfriend's house.. (and i think many will say that it was not a good idea..)when we talked, he was very very angry at me and told me again that he was already breaking up with me. he told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore and that what happened that night was the last straw. however, his sentences had the phrase "for now" at the end.. he told me that "i should do whatever I want... for now"... he didn't want to see me... for now..when I asked him what happened, he told me the same thing that reinier said.i tried to explain to him that i didn't mean what I said and that i was drunk and after the party i just went home. then i apologized to him. he was still mad. he told me that if i was like that to reinier then during parties in the past that he was not with me he assumed that I acted the same way with other guys. but no, because my friends are mostly girls and gays and he knows that... rarely did i have parties with other guys present and if that was the case i didn't get drunk as last saturday.some points that i am thinking about are:1. when he was including "for now" in his sentences it kinda gave me some hope that i could still patch things up with him and make up..2. making that decision while under the influence of alcohol may not be reasonable..3. i did not go with the other guy. i just went home. i didn't have any romantic/sexual intentions with him. and i totally didn't remember about that thing...4. i know that it was wrong for me to get drunk5. bf told me that he had to follow his pride no matter how bad he appeared in front of his friends because he knew that he will be the talk of the town come monday.6. since he wants to meet this week so that i could give him his bass guitar that he left in my car, is it a way for me to talk to him again.. hoping that his anger has become less..7. he told me that if that was what i thought about him (the girl) then that's what he's going to do8. bf left the house to get away from things after we talked9. i haven't contacted him since we talked yesterdaysorry if it's too long.. i just have a lot in mind right now... i can't organize my thoughts..do you think there's hope? do i give him a gift on his birthday still? what can i do to fix the situation? :(*sigh*his mom texted me yesterday and was apologizing about his actions... and she was inviting me to go out with her 2 grand children. she also told me to just give him time..:?: :?:schocking.. but it made me a bit hopeful.. but he told me that i shouldn't expect things to go back to the way it was..
View related questions:
broke up, drunk, flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 I wouldn't worry. You'll get back together.
A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1  +, writes (13 January 2011):
This is what you do. First, calm down. Do not contact him at all because he definitely needs time to cool off. Please do not beg, call repeatidly, or text long messages. You will be setting yourself up for failure. Mail him a nice card for his birthday. Write a short note in the card wishing him well and apologizing for hurting him, let him know that was not your intention. You can even say I am here for you if you need me. Keep it no longer than a paragraph. If he does not respond, send him another card for valentine's day saying you were thinking of him. It is very important not to bombard him. You must understand this was YOUR fault. You probably did what you did trying to make him feel your pain for his "flirting." You should have actually talked to him about it instead of letting it fester. Whenever you feel the urge to contact him contact me!!!! Feel free to send me a message. My BF left me in the past and I made a complete fool of myself. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Text him almost 20 times back to back like an idiot.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): Well, apparently he took it wrong and he got upset about it. Most guys are like that. But if he's understanding then he shouldn't be mad. You just got a little drunk that's all. He really needs to calm down and if he really cares about you, he'll forgive you for what you didn't mean when you were drunk and stop flirting with that girl. You didn't even mean to say that. He should realize that and calm down.
...............................
|
