A
male
age
30-35,
*rax
writes:i (a pathological liar) have been with a girl for nearly 4 and a half months which is a while for me, i have realized that i have fallen quite in love with her, well she recently found out i lied about a few things (my age, hobbies, and lack of a job) i really do love her and she says she still loves me but i just need to know how to get her to trust me again... i havent felt this bad in a really long time and don't want the relationship to end just because i decided to be a jackass...
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (15 October 2007):
Well no one can trust a lier, so in order for her to trust you, you have to work on yourself so you arent a pathological lier. So get some professional help so you can get to the root of whats causing this. If you do take action to get helpwith your problem, let her know, and then she may be willing to give you another go.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 October 2007):
 Guilt is a good start. What is it about you that makes you feel as if you have to inflate or expand who you are to gain the approval from her?
How do you get her to trust you? EARN IT. That's the only way. You need to realize people don't owe you anything. They aren't required to trust you. That's a make or break part of life. You earn it, or you don't. How do you get it to start going that way? By doing. When you say you're going to do something it gets done.
At the same time of doing that, I want you to do a self evaluation. The only way to really change this behavior is to find out what could be the cause of it. What causes you to feel as if you need to be untruthful? The lying as an action is not the issue. It's a cause from a greater issue. It could be low self esteem, depression, lack of confidence, and it could also be learned, such as family that focused on status to pick their friends.
Take care and good luck.
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A
male
reader, Trax +, writes (15 October 2007):
Trax is verified as being by the original poster of the question it's all stuff i want/wish i did but tonight i came out and told her everything that was a lie... after the police took me home (yes the police) i called her and she didn't seem interested in talking to me, but she still said she loves me
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (15 October 2007):
Get a job and take up the hobby. Tell her that xx is your physical age.
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