A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:tell me what to do please. im 20 and my bf 21 last weekend i cheated on him with his own cousin, coz i was drunk:(this weekend i told him about it and he was furious disappointed and very sad. when i told him it he said he don't know if he can forgive me...he went away for a weekend and came back by telling me he's considering it to give us another chance and we must try to work things out. I know i did hurt him alot coz he told me that he did think the world of me and always had it in mind that i will never ever play him..he's so confused now but think that we must give it another try if that is what i want...i love him really and i can't imagine my life without him he's a very loyal and trustworthy guy. we've been dating for almost seven months. i told him i'm done with alcohol and that i will never ever drink anymore. i've noticed it yesterday that he is so hard and rude with me, i confronted him about it and he said that what do i expect he has all the anger in him he can't just accept and forget everything. that night i played him it happened at a party and my bf was also at this party. i hate myself for doing that but i just had to tell him about it coz i believe that honesty is the best policy and as a human you don't keep secrets from the people you love. i just want to know will things ever work between us again will my bf be the same bf i met more than a year ago and will he treat me the way he used to. he asked me to shower with him as a sign of making up what do you guys think of that im not sure if i'm ready.i'm still a v and i'm afraid things will go too far. he said it once, said it twice and even more..... he wants to marry me and he wants me to be his baby's mom. i keep on telling him we're too young to decide on that, but after i cheated on him i'm so sure that i want to marry him. i'm not sure i'm confused. give your opinion about our relationship. how will i know if we are made for each other, will it ever be the same again and must i shower with him??????????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): Good on you girl, men are there to be enjoyed, why stick with one when there's so much variety, and after all... that is the spice of life!
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (15 October 2007):
 Just because you cheated on him after a drunken night doeant give him the right to force you into anything that you dont want to do, he is really hurt and probably just testing how far you will go to prove your love, you did the right thing by telling him and the fact he has taken you back is a good sign and the anger will probably last a while but if things get nasty and he starts getting worse and trying to make you do things "to prove you love him" then its not worth it and you have to end it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): First of all no, you don't have to shower with him or do anything with him that you don't want to do. Don't let anyone make demands on you when it comes to anything sexual - you are worth more than that, and his love for you should not be dependant on you having a shower with him (or we should say having sex with him as that's what he is really saying). When you first wrote that you cheated on him, I assumed you meant slept with someone else. But you've written that you are a virgin so obviously you have just kissed another man (maybe had a cheeky few touches too). Your boyfriend is hurt and angry - wouldn't you be the same? - and he needs time and patience. You need to show him how sorry you are by lots of cuddles and hugs, tell him how much he means to you and you're absolutely right to stay off the drink (at least, for the time being, to show that you are serious about wanting to prove how much he means to you). Time will tell if he is right for you, and it's ok to tell him that you want to get married, but not yet as you feel you are both a bit too young. That way you're not saying 'no' completely. You don't say how long you have been together, but you'll sleep together when the time is right, when it feels right for both of you, not just him. Certainly don't do it out of guilt - do it out of love. Best of luck XX
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