A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Okay so... been in a 1 year and 10 months (this past 4th) relationship I have a long distance relationship.... I know I know, what the point? It’ll never last, so some tell it. Around the beginning of spring I had planned to move in with my boyfriend and his family. I’m 18 he was 19 when this happened. I moved in 352 miles away from home, my friends and family for the sake of our relationship. I wanted or still want to see it grow.. everything went great. Till one morning I was planning a vacation back home to see my family just for one day. That morning he woke me up to address something that I had lied about in the past he was angry I woke up I tried to talk to him there was nothing I could do. All he said was you’re a liar pack your bags we aren’t together anymore he don’t live here. Yet he supposed to love me I moved 352 miles away from everyone just to be with him and up here it’s a very small town so there’s nobody to go out with or just hangout with. all I would have would be him. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy people‘s company just I want to be up here with him so that we can get our life started and moving. So I was on my way home and he texted and said sorry I can’t be lied to no more I have to be done. We still go back-and-forth like as if we were a couple we were just texting. we could’ve done this “talking” in his room before he kick me out but he was so angry he didn’t want me to be there anymore. He basically told me I had ultimatum. Either don’t be with him at all or let him go have intercourse with another girl so that I could feel how he felt. Now I just wanted to do anything and everything to stay with this boy. He told me he would tell me who she was and when they did everything all the details before hand. Not even a week after I was moved out of his house HHe invited another girl to his home and they fucked. I want to still be with him but I just keep feeling insecure n just as if I’m not good enough for him after he told me he did it he claimed it was such a stupid thing to do and he regrets it all n he wishes he never kicked me out. Now I’m stuck... he brings me joy and happiness all the time whenever I’m around him. Just sometimes when he visits or I visit to hangout. I can’t help but to think about what he’s done and everything. We currently don’t live together I live with my family he lives with his mom just occasionally we visit. just sometimes when I’m alone by myself I think about what he’s done and when I’m with him I think about what he’s done. Help me Xxxx
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broke up, insecure, liar, long distance, moved in, moved out, sex with another, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2019): Your words sounded like you may be trying to mock the aunts and uncles, saying LDR, I know I know, whats the point? It ll never last, so some say! Apparently, you have read our advice to other unfortunate individuals, who didn t have common sense enough to figure out for themselves, that LDRs almost never work out. One of the main reasons that many LDRs fail, is that one or more of the partners is a liar, much like yourself, by your own admission! If you take good advice, and apply it in your life, it can truly help you live a happier life, but when you mock the good advice, and go against that advice, it leads to misery in life. Some folks insist on learning the hard way, for themselves! Oh well.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2019): Op as a mother raising daughters as women who has experienced the youthfulness of love . My advice cut him off . You can do loads better. 2 . Concentrate on you . Are you at college . Could you do a home course . You need to look at your needs and wants and goals. With experience comes the omg did I really pin everything on just being with him . Lol look at moving forward atb19teen your still a baby.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 September 2019):
 You need to STAY back home and cut all contact.
OP, this kind of "emotional blackmail" will have NO END. He will ALWAYS nitpick at ANYTHING you did (even before dating him) and use as ammo or "reason" for him to do whatever HE wants.
You didn't write what it WAS he think you did or know you did. My guess is you weren't a "virgin" when you started dating him but said you were? Am I close?
If that is true, well, DON'T lie to people that you want to have an honest relationship with. LEARN from this.
Personally, I feel it's NONE of his business if you had sex with someone before you met him, but LYING about it it's just not OK either.
YOU are both so young and will make mistakes in life, it's a given. However, he holding your PAST over your head to GET to do something HE wanted to do... it's NOT OK.
I'd say END it with him. Find someone closer to home. BE honest with people you date. DOESN'T mean you OWE them ANY details of your past or past sex life, just don't LIE about it. It's OK to say:" I don't really WANT to discuss it. The past is the past."
He might REGRET doing it. SO what? HE did it to HURT you, to SPITE you and to DO something HE felt entitled to do. THAT is how he is. IMMATURE.
You both need to grow up. And I would advice to split ways. Because HE can't FIX what he did, it will ALWAYS play in your head. You will ALWAYS wait for the other shoes to drop with this guy. And he will ALWAYS be looking for "flaws" in you or claim you aren't trustworthy.
One lie can ruin a lot. But HIS actions to go have sex with someone else... that has ruined YOUR picture of him, your sense of comfort with him, your trust and respect in him and perhaps a bit in yourself too. You probably BLAME yourself for what he did. DON'T. HE made that asinine choice! HE did.
He is the one who totally RUINED the relationship.
If you can find ONE guy with whom you felt like it could work, you can find another. And DO NOT be in such a hurry to LIVE together.
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