A
male
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* Waited For The One
writes:y isn't things like my first sexual partner?when i first started havein sex with my first sexual parnter things was great till she had a misscarriage and then she got unhappy but still unhappy she would do things to me my new girlfriend doesn't even think about.ok my new girlfriend is boring in more ways than oncewhen i'm doing 4play she keeps her hands on the bed never moves from her back. even during sex oh once she raised her ass a lil but that only lasted 10 seconds. now the diffrence between my first partner and my new one is size. my ex is a size 8 skinny no boobs but did every position in the book everything i could think of she did. my new partner size 14 big saggy boobs doesn't wanna do postions she just wants 2 lay there and let me do my thing and finish so she can go to bed. now i asked her the first time we had sex lets try it in another postion but i got " no i cant be assed " my new girl is not perfect shes good to hang around but she insults me to the max and i dont know what to do about it. like today we went to a park and i saw an ambulance and i said " some women saw me and said wow hes gorgeous and she died " as a joke my partner turned around and said " u sure she was looking at you then " now dont get me wrong i'm not dead gorgeous but im not ugly. my partner is not good looking i wouldn't look twice at her in a club and i dont think most would because shes kind of ugly. but to me looks dnt matter and size doesn't matter to me i love her.i txted her tonight to say " dont u think u sould say sorry insuit me today " she txt bak " u know i'm only kidding " we've been together about 7 weeks this week and we had sex 3 times which everyone i speak to says its bad is that bad?we've never once had a fight. my lil step sister told me thats bad but shes only just started dateing people should i listen 2 her?is it bad for your r/ship if u never fight?in insuits i can take but her lack of wanting sex with me i cant. in the space of 7 weeks i've never once gone down on her and she never once gone down on me. i've asked her 300 times 2 do it because i've not had in months. but she doesn't seem up 4 it what so ever. now the reason i've never once gone on her its not because i'm bad i've been told i'm really good and i love doing it so much my new partner is very very hairy between her legs so hairy u could start a new mop of hair. i asked my partner if she shaves down there she said yeah but that rubbish she's never once shaved it down there. now thats a problem 4 me. my ex girlfriend always kept it a bit hairy on top but bald on the clit area my new girl keeps it hairy everywhere how can i tell my girl without hurting her feelings to shave it?how can i get my girl to touch me when i'm doing 4play? i have to put her hands where i want them shes had 7-8 lovers in the past its not like shes a virgin or anything. i've had 1 shes my 2nd and i'm her 9thwhen where makeing love i have to undress her without her help and she rolls her eyes whenever i do ask for a little help, she told me the other day she cum when we was makeing love but i know she didn't because once again she didn't make any noise she breathes dead heavy. she told me sex is perfect between us how can i get her 2 feel more free around me?any help would be great.i'm 24 nearly 25 and shes 20 nearly 21.i love my new girl but sex is boring how can i get her do new things?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): Dude in the first instance you passed a joke that is similar to some i pass, and my size 14 girlfriend who is very pretty with hugh breasts that aren't saggy ( because no girl at that age has saggy breasts there just very big and hang)would often reply with similar comments which are meant to be a joke and accepted as such. I think your the insecure one looking for reaffirment with these comments but not getting the reply you would expect from a younger immature girl. But i must say in your defence i like to c a little hair but it has to be groomed my god i'm a 23 year old guy an i keep mine groomed, So maybe ask for ths nicely and promise delightful rewards for her fufilling a desire of yours I.E oral sex. And on the sex issue perhaps she's needs more than mere thrusting play around even if u are on top and c wat happens. O and in my personal opinion i prefer bigger girls not fat huge but bigger. They can take more force for when your real horney have something you can grab and have more strength for when it's your turn to be screwed (ladies always first :))
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): dude got one thing to say to you: get a new gf --- now i know you say you love her but to me it sounds as if your not in love but stuck on her because of your ex it happons to all of us ---- also she sounds verry lazy to me.. ie just lies ther and dose not shave common id say ... if she can't obvisoly respect you if she cant respect her own body...she is not in love with you if she was she would look after her self to keep you impressed just the same way you do for any other girl......
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (29 April 2007):
 You need to read your own question as if someone else wrote it and realize how it comes across.
Do not fall into the trap of comparing partners. You may still be into your ex. Is she not an ex for a reason, remind yourself what that reason was.
Your girlfriend does have as much sexual desire as you because of her libido being low not because of her size.
Size 14 is a very sexy curvy size and does not present a problem with sexual desire I can assure you.
It is possible that your girlfriend does not have a lot of self esteem. Perhaps if she knows that your ex was a size 8, she may be intimated by it. Who wouldn't be?
You must have been attracted to this girl in the first place (the whole size 14 of her), so why the issue of size now?
Now, she is lazy if she does not want to try another position because "she can't be asked". No passion and it has only been 7 weeks? Even after 7 years, I would expect a bit more passion and love from both sides.
You cannot expect the numbers of lovers to be the same for you and your girlfriend as it does not work that day. Unless you do a survey before hand! There are some early starters and some late starters. If you really love someone, past lovers should not matter.
It is the present that you are living, the past no longer exists.
Your clearly put your message across to her about the pubic hair and her position on this is that she does not want to change for you. This you need to accept that nobody will change for you or anyone else although personally this compromise she could really make for you. It is for her own benefit too.
If you do not make her cum and she feel that she needs to lie about it, you both need to communicate better with each other. This is the area where more work is required.
As a new lover, you need to ask her what things she likes to turn her own. If you give her a good orgasm, she will come back for more and more and more.
Having read all your comments I personally feel that you are not sexually compatible as simple as that.
If it sucks now after 7 weeks, do you see a brighter future with this girl? You should be enjoying your best sex now.
Hope things work out for the best
Angel of Love
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A
female
reader, Jaydalay +, writes (29 April 2007):
When I was reading through your problem, I thought you were in your late teens, but when I realised you were my age I could not believe it. You have come across so shallow and immature its unreal. No wonder your g/f isn't responsive in bed, your all out for yourself! End of the day if she does have, as you put it, saggy boobs, a bit chubby, not pretty, then what in gods name are you doing with her? Ever told her how pretty and beautiful she is? Ever taken the the time to find out what SHE wants and NOT yourself? Women are turned on by feelings and emotions, as apposed to men who are turned on by visual things. Try a little romance, candles, music, make her feel sexy. You may get a better response. If the isnults get to you then tell her it bothers you. If you do genuinely love her, for who she is and not what she looks like then this shouldnt be a problem!
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (29 April 2007):
 A few things:
1. About your ambulance joke; I don't think it was the best joke in history. Especially since it makes the point that you're pretty and mentions another woman. And she knows she's not pretty, so she probably felt a bit annoyed. That's not a big deal.
2. There's many possible reasons for her being passive during sex. One of them may be that she is really conscious of how she looks and is worried all the time that you might not like her body, and another is that she enjoys what you do to her more if she can fully focus on it. She can also be unsure of what you like and afraid to make a fool of herself if she touches you the wrong way.
Have a talk with her (outside of the bedroom) and try to find out what she likes and doesn't like about sex, if she has any fantasies. Tell her what you like.
3. About oral sex, she might not like sucking on somebody else's gender, if that's the case, don't try to force it. This is yet again one of those things that you need to find out about through communication.
4. If you want her to shave, let her know that you love her as she is, but that you have this fantasy of being with a shaved girl and it would be really cool if she could do that for you. That's the way that would hurt me least if I was in her shoes.
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