A
female
age
36-40,
*oldie22
writes:I get the feeling that a certain member of the family of my fiance, doesnt like me and judges me because Im not religious. The person that I believe does not approve also has a lot of prejudice veiw points that I disagree with to the point of being offended.On subjects Such as homosexuality, children out of marriage and other religions. They often share these views on facebook and then make a joke about it with their religious friends. Even though I duck out of the conversation by then or just ignore it full stop, I find them hard to speak to knowing that are so prejudice and I think about it every time I see this certain person. They are also quite often ignorant towards me and my fiance. They dont call us or include us in their news, even though we make an effort to visit them and made sure that we didnt forget them at birthdays xmas and invited them to partys that we have thrown.when we are all in a room it is made quite clear that they dont really enjoy our company! I really dont know what to do with this person. She is a sensitive person and I get the feeling she would throw it out of proportion if challenged. I dont want to fall out because I love my fiance and I want to get on with his family! the issue is affecting him too and he doesnt know what to do either
View related questions:
facebook, fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, goldie22 +, writes (18 December 2011):
goldie22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, in answer to questions.about why spend.time with them? To avoid seeing them would.mean my fiance missing every family gathering and important event as person in question is his sister. I didnt think of hiding the facebook.statuses so.thanks.for that sugestion as i have now done that. My fiance isnt extremely religious and deals.with this in the same.way as i do, with difficulty. We visted them when we.thought we could build bridges but have since given up. But thankyou all.for replying anyway. It felt good to talk.the problem over with unbias people. X
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (7 November 2011):
 I have to agree with the others. It seems to me that you've tried. And this person does seem like a real bummer to have around - and someone that could easily offend or hurt a lot of people. I would cut back on the invitations - maybe invite them to one or two of your events a year so that you're not completely disowning them - but otherwise, keep your life easier and just don't bother.
Always be willing to make an effort to keep things civil if you fiancé wants them at an event. Do as you have done, grit your teeth and be polite. But, you don't need to bend over backwards if they aren't really catching what you're throwing.
You sound like a sweetheart, your fiancé is a lucky fella!
Good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 November 2011):
 I think the most important phrase in your submittal is this one: "...They dont call us or include us in their news, even though we make an effort to visit them ..." to which I would ask: "Why bother?" (to want to visit them)..
Not every person in your life is going to think just as you do... and some are gonna be 'way off in the wilderness, relative to your's and their beliefs, feelings, expectations, and... yes,.... even prejudices.
So what????
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 November 2011):
 Honestly if their FACEBOOK status/posts grates at you, hide them. Don't look. They are not going to change.
As for them not enjoying your campany well, that sucks, you can't pick family, same goes for in-laws.
Have you talked your fiance about it? Is he religious? How does he deal with it?
If they don't seem to like either of you, why spend time with them? honestly?
...............................
|
