A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've recently discovered a real turn on for me but the feminist inside me weeps.. I've discovered I really love my boyfriend spanking me. Hard. Just thinking about it makes me want him to do it again. Hes only done it twice but I feel as though I shouldnt let him and that its degrading but it feels so good at the same time. I dont know if I should ask him to do it again or ween myself off it and not think about it. But even since he spanked me I cant stop thinking about it. I never thought I'd be one of those people that it turned on but I really am. Should I embrace this new sexual experience of deviate away from it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (15 June 2011):
Never let ANYONE tell you what you should or shouldn't do in the bedroom, as long as both (or all!) people involved consent and are enjoying themelves.
A
male
reader, hindsight  +, writes (21 July 2010):
My wife would probably not call herself a feminist, but she's a very strong, confident woman. But she's said to me a few times "I love being a submissive little slut in the bedroom".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your responses. I think that I will go with the flow and if I enjoy it them embrace it. I appreciate the feedback.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): Maybe the spanking turns you on BECAUSE you intellectually find it so wrong, not in spite of it.
Feeling naughty is feeling sexy for a lot of people. Maybe the feminist within you finds it extremely naughty to enjoy being spanked and that's the fun of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): enjoy yourself!!! dear me there is nothing degrading about a good old spank. its a great turn on if i may say so myself. its all about pleasure just like male anon said. please have fun! you only live once! take care.
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A
female
reader, PixiePie +, writes (1 November 2009):
 i too believe in most points of feminism, but i love being spanked, if it upsets you that much, then equal it out and spank him back!!all i'm trying to say is, if its in sex then its all in play, he doesn't mean to degrade you if you like it, and knowing what you want and like in sex is all about empowerment, so you are empowered, so go get spanked!!
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (1 November 2009):
 I'm a man, so you can take or leave my opinion on this as you wish, but I say do what you like. Being a feminist does NOT mean ditching unfair man-favoring rules just to pick up other arbitrary rules that aren't in your best interest. Feminism just means that you're exactly the same, no better and no worse, than men and that you are ENTITLED to ask for what you want out of life, out of work, and out of relationships. Feminism means taking back control over your life and circumstances. So, as a powerful, important, strong woman, tell me this: What do you like and want? Decide what you like and realize you deserve to get that.
You like being spanked? It turns you on and gives you sexual pleasure? Then by all means, get spanked. If he spanked you against your will because he enjoyed "putting you in your place" and you put up with it because you felt powerless and afraid to stop him, then yes that would have to end. But if you LIKE it, then how is it different than liking doggy style, or liking him to eat you, or liking any of a hundred fetishes and positions?
Feminism is about HAVING choice, not necessarily what your choice ultimately is. It just means you get to MAKE that choice. I have heard more than one woman proudly declare herself to be a die-hard feminist that loves to give blowjobs. Ordinarily, sucking a man could be demeaning, but these women CHOSE to do it, LIKED to suck, and reveled in the power they had over men while controlling boyfriends' pleasure.
Please, just do what you like to do and don't feel guilty about having fun in bed.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): Oh please....Enjoy it!!!!
If it's something YOU want, and YOU like, then YOU as the woman are in control of you life/what happens to you...what's anti-feminist about that?
Lot's of women (including my sweetie) like it...it doesn't have to be about "power" or "punishment"....it's all about pleasure my dear!!!
As long as you're in control of what happens to you...there's nothing anti-feminist about it!
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