A
male
age
30-35,
*emkie
writes:I'm 13 and I love/have feelings for my 18 year old cousin. Is that wrong?About my cousin: (in my point of view) my Cousin just turned 18 and is now going to Columbia university. She has a very nice personality, funny, innocent, adorable, beautiful, smart, and tremendously gorgeous. I sometimes have dreams or thoughts about sexual fantasy with her. I want a sexual relationship with her ( not because her body is amazing) and I also want to have a relationship were we can love. She is pretty and neat. To me she was perfect.P.S: she has 3 older brothers. 24, 29, 36.Things I tried to do with her: my cousin is now in college and she would come back from a break for 2-4 days and spend time with the family. I would stay over at her house for the holiday where hey will host huge dinners or parties. When she invites friends over I spy her from a distance. After the party ends; it would be around 1-2am in the morning. People would be sleeping or going home then. My cousin who would stay up late when she have breaks would probably sleep at 3-4am. Ever 10minutes I would check by her room to see if she was alseep, if the door was locked (rarely), or if the close is clear. If it is, i wait for another 30minutes to make sure she is in a "deep sleep" because we wakes up late and is probably tired out from party. After that, I would go in her room. Close the door gently as if it was never opened and tipy toe by her bed. I embrace her while she sleeps. I would look for exposed areas such as feet, legs, hands, arms where she would probably not notice when I feel them. But first I would smell them, her smell is wonderful and her room is very neat making me feel comfortable. Then I would rub her hands gently trying to not make a sound or waking her up. I get heavy heart beats cause i'm nervous that she might wake up and do something. I would try to work it from feet to legs to stomach and sometimes breasts (her's were the "perfect" size) I wont squeeze them or anything, that would wake her up so I lay my hands apon them and maybe give her a kiss on the lips. Sometimes I would lick her hands feet (very clean, soft, and smooth) and "hold hands" with her. I try my very best to make it last without waking her up. I sometime get out of my mind and try slipping my hands in her shirt ( does not sleep with a bra on) or sometimes in her panties/ pants. However I never made It there because she would probably wake up since it's probably the areas where it's the most sensitive to touch. I would smell her hair. I sometimes tried putting my head in the covers and try to wrap her arms or legs around my head. I would yry and sleep by her or lay on her bed. But she's older and probably have energy to feel what's happening so i limit myself. To adults i am very innocent, i think i am too. I love her!I would sneak into her closet, sniff her clothing (used or unused)I really want her to know and not make bad judgment on it. One night stand? We are friendlynto each other, i'm her "favorite" cousin. She had been very caring and nice to me ever since i was 2 months old. I just hpe she feels the same. Suggestions? Is it wrong? Is there a chance? What would her parents say/think? What would my parents think? I'm really confused! Thanks for reading ._____.
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a break, bra , breasts, cousin, one night stand, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, gnash_enthusiast  +, writes (7 May 2017):
wtf man? this is sexual harassment and this should be reported to the police! having feelings for her is not abnormal, i'm 14 and had feelings for a cousin but u can't touch her without consent!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2016): I know how you feel I'm 15 and my cousin is 15 also we both used to have crushes on eachother a long time ago and we both recently told eachother and we both still do but the problem is she lives so far away and I think about her everyday but I wonder what people will think of us
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female
reader, BleedingHeartsBaby  +, writes (23 August 2010):
I have loads and loads of cousins and at my 12th birthday party i met one of my cousins, who was about... 20? ...maybe. I'd never met him before and had no idea that he was my cousin. I thought he was smart, amazing, funny and really good looking. I asked my sister who he was and she told me that he was my cousin, I felt sick. The next time I saw him I didnt feel the same way, i dont fancy him and we see each other a lot and im really happy! I live in England and so i dont know if its illegal in America. But maybe you should tell your cousin how you feel about her, if she's as great as she sounds then she'll understand. Try and do it in a non-freaky way, try not to blurt it out. It sounds like you have a great relationship with each other and would you really want all that to change? When you're older you might meet someone else and all of those feelings might go away.
Hope i helped, Good luck! xxx
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female
reader, Ellecanhelpyou +, writes (21 June 2010):
I have the same problem, Im 13 and I love my cousin ( who is 18). Like you I haven't told anyone for fear of what they would say. I live in England so it is perfectly legal. Maybe you should give of a few hints that you like her but don't go telling her you love her straight away- that would probably freak her out :S I'm not sure what other advice i can give- I only commented so that you would know that it's normal and not incest or anything and that there are other people who like their cousins like that! Good luck!!
Ellie xxx
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male
reader, ROAD HOUND +, writes (10 November 2009):
most say it's abnormal but in reality what you are feeling is completely normal. I have a 2 cousins who I have a strong desire for.... one lives up in colorado and the other in spain.... Though I really don't communicate with the one in the states, I have a strong bond with the one in spain.... hey, is it my fault that she looks exactley like Jessica Alba?.... Its like do the math and find out you're self.... if it takes a decade or more just stick close to her or him.... tell them that you deeply care about them and how lucky you are to have them as a cousin, trust me it works... start a bond that can't be broken.... just don't be to needy or sexual about at all.... harrassment is the ultimate give-away.... but realistcly the chances of you getting any are 0 to none.... example if they get married what are going to do.... the chances that they believe in incest to is very very rare.... If you have a strong public image just stick to jerkin' off to her photo's, cause trust me it aint worth the stress.... remember they don't call it a fantasy for nothing....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): I had the same experience with my male cousin who is 5 years older than me. I was 12 and he was 17 and he let me know how he felt about me by asking how I felt about it. We knew that our parents would give us a major ass kicking if they found out so we would meet each other in secret, mainly after parties when everyone was asleep we would play sexual games but we never had full on sex with each other until I was 19 years old. Our families never found out and it just felt completely wrong. So we both went our own ways and we are now both in relationships with other people and know that our sexual relationship will never be ignited again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): I think its normal because i have the same problem i like my cousin who is 22 years older then me and im 13.she has 2 kid.i havent had the guts to go in her room while she was sleeping because she has a husband but if she wasnt married i probably would of already done that by now.But i did smell her used clothes.So i think its normal.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): I don't think that you are sick at all. I think that at your age your emotions and your actions are completley normal. Now about touching her in her sleep, I think that maybe you should touch her to wake her up. I'm sure she would like for you to bring her pleasure. Just in case she doesn't like you touching her, you should smother her with a pillow until she is unconcious. Then you can touch her all that you want without having to worry about her. And besides she would never dare tell her parents because they sound way too strict and would never want her involved in a sexual relationship. Quite posibily you could be her first sexual experience, why not have it with someone that you know so well. Since you like to lick her so much, why not make it more interesting for you and her by using some honey or whip cream. Not only does it taste good but its really fun too. Keep up the good work.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): I'm 14 and my cousins 20. We're not blood related or anything but I still keep thinking i'm being weird..
He kissed me the other day, only on the lips, but my stomach jumped out of my throat.
I've never done anything to him like you've done.. the closest we've ever got is kisses on the cheek and using him as a pillow.
Reading your comment made me realise i'm not weird.. because I dont touch my cousin up.
You're really weird.. that's sexual assault. You need to stop before she finds out and presses charges.. Its not right..
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (7 April 2008):
 I agree with birdy completely... It may be normal to have feelings towards an attractive cousin, especially being older and "perfect", but you have taken it much too far. As she said, it is a selfish "love", i dont believe it is love at all. You want the benefit of touching her. Its sexual assault and it is beyond fucked up. Not that you care obviously, but can you imagine how she would feel?? Knowing someone has been sneaking in and touching her naked body?? Anyone telling you this is normal must be in a freak world where it is ok to sexually assault a female. Being 13 is no excuse, you know what is right and what is wrong. Get some respect for her and back off as it would never lead anywhere anyway.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): dude it's okay to have sexual feelings at your age man. i had it too for my 23 year old aunt when i was 16. however, you are going a little to far, i can understand smelling her clothes, but you need to back off a bit. you will get over it, but i can see why you have urges. your hormones are going insane right now. just wait a little bit and when you start hanging out with hot girls your age, this will go away.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): You are 13 so you will diffinetly grow out of this, please stop touching her. Stay away from her and spend some time with people and girls your own age. i promise you will grow out of it and stop feeling like this, theres nothing wrong with it at your age and i am 100% sure that its your hormones. There sort of taking and controling your body if you like, its just growing up. I dont mean to sound mean but it will nevr happen with her shes way too old and after all it is your cousin, just stay away from her and spend some more time with people your own age, dont worry about it but dont act on it anymore, please. Hope i Helped, its the best advice i can give x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I'm a 24 and I've had growing feelings for my cousin who's now 16 for the last 2 years and now that he's reached sexual maturity I'm finding it difficult got to see him in a sexual light. I love him to pieces and he's always sitting on me or with his legs on me when we share a sofa or something. Of course I've known him since he was born, but only in recent times have i had these feelings for him. i can't control these feelings and he's extremely good looking, which doesn't help me. he was always my fav cousin and we get on so great when we see each other.
I don't know if this will help, but I also have no idea what to do, so i'm gonna keep it to myself for now - im far too scared of the consequences should i ever say anything
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): I don't believe you are only 13 unless you are overly intelligent for your age? You need to stop touching your cousin in her sleep. It is sexual assault. If you really cared about her in a mature way you would not be using her for your own satisfaction. Love goes along with respect--wich dosen't sound like you havefor her. You need help now. Urges like this may turn into something more serious as you get older. To explain furthur, The "heart beating" part sounds like some sort of "Excitement" for you and may be the start of an addiction. Please get help, tell your parents or your guidence councelor. Registered Nurse
p.s. intellegence does not mean you are above it all nor will it keep you from doing illegal acts
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): writer's comment:
Also, i'm not sure if this is wrong too. I've surveyed quite a lot of students in my school (same age, female to be specific) about "would you ever date a guy younger than you even if he was totally hot (not saying that I am)" and 72/81 said no. Is it strange for girls to date younger men?
Honestly, I love older girls than younger one that are in my age or even younger. I don't feel the same when I go with them. I've started to feel this after I dated a girl 2 years older than me. What has become of me.
Incase somone ask this, I do not watch pornography.
I'm a "trying new things out" type of person and is very curious.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): Writer's comment:
I didnt bother logging in.
Thanks for your suggestions, when i read my own actions. It disturbed me too but it's just so hard to stop having this urge and feelings of wanting to be with my cousin.
In response to "does she have a bf?"
No she does not, she's restricted to have a bf before graduation. Her mom (my aunt) is very strict about her ed. And she is very protective of her.
Another strange thing that i found out.
The last time i tiuched her was about 11 months ago and ever since, she did not talk to me as much
However, i get unexpected smiles from her and she seems to be more quiet.
Could it be that she found out and want to kill me?
I've been thinking about "what if's" these days...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): ok man, i'm not gonna insult you like those other guys below me, ignore them my friend.
I'm 14 and believe me, I know how uncontrollable ya emotions are! Your not sick in the head, you just can't control your feelings for your cousin, I wouldn't call ya a weirdo, you aint perfect but you show respect to her, even when shes asleep you don't 'feel her up', you just try doing stuff normal couples do like hold hands, now if you WERE properly touching her up that'd just make you a weirdo, but you don't sound it.
If I were you I'd just tell her this or something along these lines:::
''Look, I know your 18, I know your my cousin, I know you don't feel the same and I know this aint normal. But I love you to pieces.''
DO NOT TELL HER ABOUT THE HODLING HER WHEN SHES ASLEEP EVER DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME! she won't understand what your saying and probably overreact and cut contact with you. DO NOT tell her you hold her at all.
And kid, there's always hope, even if shes 5 years older and your cousin, there is always hope (very little, but it does exist), try and make sure she doesn't patronise you when you tell her, make sure she see's you as an equal.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007): I'm sorry mate but you kinda need to stop this.
The main thing is that you are doing this stuff and she doesn't realise it - so you are betraying her trust - which is really, really wrong if you say that you love her. Does she have a boyfriend??
Personally I think that it is best just to let those feelings go. You are quite a bit younger than her so it is highly unlikely that you two will ever fall completely in love - I'm sorry.
The feelings aren't wrong - I guess they come naturally, but it is best to try to forget about them - impossible as it seems. I'm sure that its a crush and eventually you will experience those feelings fading.
Maybe try to find someone else your own age who has similar characteristics to your cousin and maybe you'll love that girl instead.
Sorry about the uncomfortable situations - but it is best for yyou to grow out of them... x x x
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 December 2007):
 Doing this without her consent is WRONG. You are not innocent. You are a Peeping-Tom. She could press charges against you for what you are doing because it is sexual assault. Everyone has the right to say what happens sexually to their own body, and you have taken away that right for her. HOW DARE YOU? Yours is a very selfish kind of love, isn't it? It's not love at all, it's sick, it's perverted, it's incestuous, it's controlling, it's abusive and
YOU NEED TO STOP THIS RIGHT NOW.
If you can't stop yourself, then you need help. You need to tell YOUR parents. At the age of 13, you are old enough to know that this is wrong, and I'm afraid that with your lack of judgement about what is right or wrong and this perverse sense of sexuality shows that you should get psychiatric help immediately. This is NOT normal. If you are too cowardly to tell your parents and get the help that you need, then please tell her parents and brothers about what you have been doing so that they can protect their sister from you.
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (4 December 2007):
 Its never going to happen she has known you since you were a baby and looked after you i doubt very much if she sees you as any more then her little favourite cousin, what you are doing is WRONG you dont touch people while there asleep its very creepy and very odd and if she catches you i doubt you will be her favourite cousin anymore, leave her alone find someone your own age who isnt a relation
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male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (4 December 2007):
 First off, there's no way she's go for her own cousin, and secondly, no 18 year old WOMAN would even dream of youching a 13 year old BOY. And the things you're doing like TOUCHING HER IN HER SLEEP is just sick. I don't mean to use strong, almost insults, but you really are wrong in the head. Having a crush on your older cousin is understandable, but toucking her and smelling her clothes? You need help mate seriously
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007): Its not wrong to be fond of your cousin but i have to say this,maybe you are taking it too far and its really intruding your cousin's privacy too, epecially as she don't know that all this is going on whilst she's asleep. Also, you're self consciously doing yourself more harm by doing this kind of thing. Its tough but learn to grow up first and enjoy each other's company first without getting too close to her physically. You are playing with your own emotions ...
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