A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am falling completely head-over-heels for my best friend/boyfriend (we don't really have a title for our relationship). He's funny, he's charming, he's sweet, he's caring, he's loyal and protective and everything I've ever looked for in a man. We get along perfectly. I am totally in love with him for who he is on the inside. The problem is that I am just not attracted to him. He is an unhealthy, heavy man. I wish I could look at him and feel attracted physically, but I don't. But I'm so crazy for everything else about him. I love him, but will this ever work if I'm not attracted to him? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks a bunch.
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female
reader, RainStorm  +, writes (13 April 2010):
This is where I believe the line is drawn between best friend and lover. I had this same problem, I love this guy for who he is but wasn't attracted to him on the outside and that is just where the boundary lies. I'm glad I didn't try to force on to the relationship (he had a crush on me too) because we were just better off being best friends, not lover.I always thought I was being selfish and rude for being so 'picky' on his look but it's the way life is, I am not picky, we just have different taste and such. There need to be physical attraction to be lovers in my opinion.
A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Maybe you could try to encourage him to lose the weight and get into shape. Its not selfish for you to do this because in the end its a really good thing for him as well. Offer to work out and get active with him, physical activity is said to increase one attraction for another so you may find yourself becoming more and more attracted to him as time goes on.
Other than that I'm not one to say that you couldn't have the relationship without the physical attraction but it does help out alot.
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