A
female
age
30-35,
*areena_48
writes:My name is kareena. I love this guy. his name is shahid. He is my cousin. He is 16 and I'm 14. I love him loadsss but he luvs this other girl. Her name is amrita. I just hate it when ever shahid talks about her. Me and shahid used to be very very close. We used to be girlfriend boyfriend but since amrita has come shahid calls me his best friend and now he only callz me friend. He hurt me a lot. I cried day and night for him. Amrita is cheating on shahid and I have told this to him loads of times but shahid does not believe me. I don't mind shahid not loving me any more but in front of my family I can't even talk to shahid. He can't talk to me either and also shahid now has applied for some college which is out of London. He is now going to move away for 7 years. All I know is that I can't live without him under no circumstances and by the time he comes back Ii will be married or maybe engaged. What do Ii do now? Please give me some tips on how I can stop him from going far away and some tips how he can hate amrita. thank you very much!
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (19 February 2009):
 You cannot make him hate this girl nor can you make him love you again!
I'm not sure how relationships work in your culture but I do know that while it is legal to marry your cousin in the UK, there has been some scientific evidence that having children with your first cousins can lead to an increased chance of birth defects and serious handicaps in your children. I know this is personal opinion but I do feel it is unfair to your potential children to put them at risk like this, having a normal relationship with someone outside of the family or less closely related is much more sensible and there is much less risk involved.
You are very young at 14 to be thinking you are in love with someone and I'm sure that while you think right now you cannot live without your cousin, after a while another great guy will come along that you will have even stronger feelings for.
You cannot hold him back from living his life and you have to accept he is with another girl and move on. You cannot have everything you want in life and it is not fair to try and sabbotage his relationship when he seems to love his girlfriend. He is family so you should try and support him in his decisions.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, kareena_48 +, writes (19 February 2009):
kareena_48 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni cant! i tried all the proofs i could find! and now when ever i even talk about amrita, shahid gets realli annoyed and he usually walks away!
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A
male
reader, jay12toes  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 You can't make him not go to college, but you can go with him. As for Amrita, just get proof that she's cheating on him!
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