A
female
age
30-35,
*confused
writes:Okay this would be really complicated if I didn't start from the beginning so it's going to be long.... When I was in one of my classes the first day of school my sophmore year and everyone was coming in I first noticed him and immediately began crushing on him. He walked in with a few friends and I just could not stop staring at him, it was like everyone else was gone. Then it turned out he sat right by me in class so I was always distracted trying to pay attention to him. We didn't talk because we had like no friends in common. One day I noticed my friend talking to him. I told her about how I was crushing on him and she tried to help me out. When I would be with her she would text him from my phone to hang out with us but we never did. Later I found out that my little sister's best friend was also his little sister. So she would tell him everything I said. He didn't know exactly who I was so it didn't bother me at first. Then One day he texted me looking for my friend to hang out and when I told him it was my number and I was not with her he told me to hang out with him but I was out of town. I told him about how I had a thing for him and we talked the whole weekend. When monday came I found out he told all his friends in our class that I liked him and they began to say stuff because one of the girls like him. She said they were going out when they really weren't and she had him write me a note basically saying not to talk to him. I was just like whatever and left him alone for a while. When the end of the year came he began talking to me again. I knew I shouldn't have given him a second chance but I did anyways. In the summer we hooked up and then barely talked after. Again I just gave him a break and would just talk to him sometimes. Junior year rolled around and I ended up having two classes with him. We didn't talk in school so it was awkward. I ended up switching one of the classes because I would always be in a group with him and we would get nothing done. I began to move on when for a third time I gave him another chance the summer after junior year. Now we are halfway through are Senior year and pretty much together. (This is where the more important information comes.) Here's the thing though... we still don't talk in school, even though we don't have classes there's always time in the hallway. But no. He won't tell people about me and won't give me a reason. He claims that he doesn't like my friends and so that's why he won't come up to me. I only spend time with him about once a month. We do text all the time but never calls. He claims were in a "relationship" but not going out. We do call eachother babe and baby but when he does it it's because he wants something. About a month ago I said, "I love you" but he hasn't. He gets mad when I talk to other people about it or bring him up at all. And hanging out with other guys just as friends is out of the question even when he hangs out with girls that like him. We seem to be fighting alot now and usually I start it because i'm tired of being a secret. I don't get the reason behind it and I don't know what to do. I know it's long but I really need help and I want to give as much detail as possible.So does anyone have advice I can use?Please and thanks.
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female
reader, samsmommy +, writes (2 January 2009):
 If it's really bothering you then you should tell him that if he doesn't tell everyone you're together then you won't be. Guys like that are retards, they think they can keep one relationship a secret so they can still freely flirt with whoever they want to. I would just talk to him and tell him you're sick of being a secret, and see if he does anything about it. Good luck.
A
female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (2 January 2009):
hes messed you around so much! for so long! serious when is he going to grow a pair? i dont really know whet hes doing, and im not sure he does. i think deep down he has feelings for you yet is unwilling to show them in public this is sooo stupid its just aghh! its really mad but so many people are in this situation yeah it would be good to talk to him alone i think thats what you need but your going to need to be the strong one and be straight with him you both at some point treated each other unfairly and so have built up this unhealthy relationship which is heading nowhere.its no good for either of you and needs to be sorted now as it will only progress and youve been through years of this do you want to go through more years of it? i know you dont so talk to him, tell him everything how you feel like his secret and how you understand his insecurites but you shouldnt be like that with each other if its going to work. your older now and you need to have the make or break chat. itll end before it even begins at this rate. you want it and i think deep down so does he, he just needs to start showing it. you need to give him th much needed wake up call- you wont be a secret forever, you have other options of a normal relationship but you want him tell him this. be honest with him but firm. it has to stop at some point. hope all works out xxx
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A
female
reader, awwwwww +, writes (2 January 2009):
 ok i know exactly what u r goin through me and my boyfriend were the same but if u fin a quiet place to sit and really talk to him about how u feal u will feel much better.
hope it all works out
p.s.
dont feel bad if he hangs out with other girls (all guys do that) and u hang out with who ever you want to he has no right tellin u who u can and cannot see
good luck
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