A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Here's a question for you.... I'm soon to be 46 divorced father of 3, remarried for 9 years now (Happily). My wife is 35 and has 1 child from previous marriage (16 yrs old). I had a vasectomy done after my 3rd child in 1994, my wife wants to have another child and feels "cheated". I understand her feelings and went for a reversal and the Dr. said NO. Is it OK for my Wife to have sex w/ a Relative strictly for childbirth?? We do not want to adopt or go to a sperm bank, and of course it will be ALOT less money!! We discussed this up and down,inside out ect,ect... but we are questioning the morality of it,we know in the Old testament it was done but not sure if its right. We have already explained to family and friends that I had a Succesfull reversal and it is a close relative so the child will resemble me me. What are your thoughts??
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): Well, then..good luck to you, poster. But please, whatever you decide to do, you need to be responsible by thinking ahead of the possible problems that could arise. I think it's best to ensure that there will be no legal issues and custody disputes, in the future for this child. Something like this could deeply affect a child's life. Take care
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): GOSH NO , do it through Ivf! Don't get to know your donor, BAD IDEA.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses! Irish 49, I'm not concerned at all about them getting emotionally bonded....We, errrr....had an open relationship in the past and she has had sex w/ him before. (we no longer participate in that form of living), its not to say we might again...but probably no. pvt guy, thanks for your "caring willingness" to help us out! Maybe if she saw a pic of you (she is QUITE attractive) she (we) might consider,but we don't know your family history and basically want to "keep it in the family".
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): If you want the genetic connection, then go through a clinic and have your wife inseminated with this family member's sperm, if you want this. But...you take a great risk to your marriage by just sending the two of them off to a bedroom to have sex, and keeping your fingers crossed. That is a type of intimacy that can backfire on you. These two could emotionally bond together and you may find yourself, out on the doorstep. Who knows..why chance it?
If she does become pregnant, it is highly advisable that you sign a written agreement between this 'family' sperm donor and yourselves. Although this sperm donor is not the emotional Father, he still will be the biological father and sometimes, people have regrets and change their way of thinking. You could find yourself smack in the middle of a custody battle, which could be devastating to your lives, that of this child's and you extend family. And even at that, a written agreement isn’t always legally enforceable, but it is important evidence of your intentions, if this ever sees the courts. I also advise you to seek a consultaion with a lawyer, to find out the legalities involved and the hoops you may have to tasckle to see this through. It's a very complicated process, either way. Just something to think about. Good luck.
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