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female
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anonymous
writes: Okay my boyfriend and I have been talking about getting engaged and what not. I love him with all I have. I have never been so in love with anything or anyone. But here is my problem...I feel that he sees me as more of a friend and not a girlfriend. We do everything together, but he is not affectionate towards me in any way! I am not sure why and I have tried talking to him about it but the conversation turns into me crying and him telling me it is work and things will be different. I don't know if it is me, him or what but I have no clue what to do anymore about it. It hurts my feelings and I tend to then compare him to my exboyfriend (in my mind) which I know isn't right either!
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female
reader, lildeesbg  +, writes (10 September 2005):
 Here is my input. There are men out there who just arent comfortable showing emotions, for whatever the reasons. Doesnt necessarily mean he thinks of you as a friend. If he isnt affectionate then how do you know he loves you? I am sure that he must show you love in different ways. As long as he is trying to make up for the non-affectionate part then all is well. If your reading my advise and he really hasnt made any attempts in other ways then i think you might need to sit and have another chat. Make it a really light conversation so he doesnt feel attacted and find out what you need to find out.
Before you get married though, figure out if his non-affectionate self is ok with you in the big picture. Because if that is something really important to you and their is no way for him to change his feelings about it then you need to take a step back before you go any further.
dee =)
A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (8 September 2005):
If he cares about you really he would show it. And if it is to do with his work ask him what is going to change. Your needs are not being met in this relationship and you need to be asking yourself what you are doing. Why do you love a guy to bits who does not show you any affection? Love youself enough.
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