A
female
age
51-59,
*nsanema
writes:I lost my wedding ring about 4 years ago, never told my husband, bought a ring that looked similar to mine, and just recently he somehow found out and is extremely angry, yet he too lost his around the same time and it was not a big deal. We have been married 12 years, and I really believe that he can't stand me, and is only staying because he really cant afford a divorce. We have 4 children, and I do not work. Im really at point that I need some real advice, from people that dont know us.
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (18 June 2009):
 More info please...I have to ask one question though. If he didnt even recognize that you had lost your ring and that you replaced it with a similar but not exact same one, and he lost his but does not seem to care, how have you two communicated anything in your marriage?Did you both sleepwalk through the last 12 years? I am not trying to be mean, but on the whole it seems so incredulous that he would not notice this over a 4 year period,Have you tried marriage counseling? Have those two words crossed either of your lips? I agree with the other posters that a little more info is needed before we can give you the valuable advice you deserve.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Give us a deeper look into your relationship and state what you really need help with and we will go from there. I'm sure it's not actually about the wedding ring. I feel sorrowful right now, because I sense a deep sadness from you, as you dealt with his fit and probably did some thinking, prehaps some crying, and found yourself on this site, desperate for some kindness.. some help.. and not just with your wedding ring. But we can't help you unless you tell us more..
~SY.
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Yes, you should have told him but you didn't. He lost his too and you didn't fuss. Now what's the big deal. Please tell him to get over it or just ignore him the same way husband ignore wives when then fuss and nag.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Well I think we might need more information. Why do you think he can't stand you? Just because of this argument? I mean four years is a long time to keep such a thing a secret, I'm sure it caught him by surprise. Which is why he was probably angry. I would just sit him down and talk to him. I mean you've been married for this long and have kids, right? So it's a sign that he is willing to put in an effort. And if the guy really wanted a divorce, I'm sure he would manage to find a way to get one for cheap. So the only thing I can possibly think of without more information is that you two need to communicate. You also both need to control your anger and realize that yelling won't help the situation. Talking will. Best of luck!
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