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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my girlfriend for 18 months, she lives with me and I am her world.She cut herslef off (own choice) from all her friends and just lives for me.3 months ago I met a lady through work who is really cool, fun and I am really attracted to her.We went to a work do seperatly and ended up spending the whole night dancing, laughing and talking. I got jealous when she spoke to other guys and she has admitted she hated seeing me talk to other women.We then spoke on the phone and she offered me a lift to another work do (we do not work together - she is my recruitment consultant) and I said yes, we spent the whole journey talking and having fun.We then both admitted how we felt and she was more than aware I have a girlfriend!We later had a few fate bets on the dogs(dog racing) to see if we were meant to be, as a joke, but they all came in and I made loads of money and my feelings grew for her.We then decided to meet the other night after work and go for a drink.We get on really well, both mentally, emothionally and physically attracted to each other and she is so understanding of the fact I can not cheat on my girlfriend and she isn't making me choose. but I want too.My girlfriend and I argue all the time about me having a life and her jealousy and we keep trying again and she really is making a massive effort but all I think about is the Miss X.We had a long chat today and she is really understanding but this is actually really hurting her as everytime we meet I must dash off to go home. If I was single I would not hesitate to be with her. But I don't know what to do as my girlfriend needs me and its coming up for Christmas. What do I do?
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female
reader, No_One_74  +, writes (1 November 2010):
If you never met this woman would you have considered leaving your girlfriend? If the answer is no than maybe your attraction is only going to last for a small time with this Miss X. Than you'll run into someone else and want another. It's a vicious cycle. You need to seriously rethink before making a decision you might regret.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2006): dude go for it im in the same thing except 2 years of it.its only cheating if your not doing what you want. man im with you on this.Im going to have to grow some balls and do it to so i think yo should.whats the worst that could happen? Death waits for no man have fun while you can still get it up
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): Life is short!! yes you have spent months with your girlfriend, well your attracted to another woman...who's to say that she might be the one for you..maybe your soulmate? who knows..lets not have our cake and eat it to!! If your really interested in this other woman then I suggest that you first..get your own place and then go on from there with the other woman.. Just because you have a live in girlfriend does'nt mean that you have stay with her and get married! I would break up with your girlfriend first of all..before you started another relationship though...that's only fair..
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male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (14 December 2005):
 I know that I've been there several times and for the most part the grass is definately not greener on the other side. Don't be fooled into thinking that your having a gay ole time with this new woman. I honestly think that if you haven't seen your male best friend for a long time then you'd probably have a great time hanging out for awhile. So what's different? Attraction! Wow that's something to write home about. I meet hundreds of women a day that I find attractive because GOD made them that way. FUN? nope my friends are fun and so is my dog. CONVERSATION? whoops should have been doing that in the relationship your in. So, why do you have such a blast with another woman? My guess is that your young. I could be wrong (it wouldn't be the first time). But your parents should have taught you this one thing about life. YOU MADE YOUR BED NOW LYE IN IT. 18 months is not long enough for you to pass judgement on her because you are not getting what you want from her. I'll bet you 10 to 1 odds that you forgot to tell your GF what it was you needed from the relationship your in. In fact I believe you don't even know what you need. Before you jump that fence and abandon that ship, you probably should spend some time soul searching and realize that YOU need to be secure with yourself. If your really a man tell your GF what you have done and what your thoughts are and ask her for 1. forgiveness, 2. help, 3. compassion and then you can decided. I did this with my current GF and guess what? she had NO idea that I wanted more affection and more sex. So one more thing to consider, How would you feel if someone did this to you? Like your new LIFE! I don't trust women who wrecked my relationship for thier benefit. The woman I love now told me flat out that unless I was single for at least 3 months she would not even hang out with me because it's cheating. Now days I admire her because she has principles and values. Whenever I need to run a problem by her; she values my thoughts and strives to help me fix them. I've even told her several fantasies and she helped me understand what is real and what is not. So to my GF; I respect her well enough to tell her everything. I do and not go around other women without a valid cause. She does the same for me and I'm VERY glad she is my best friend. One more thing, I don't care if this is the holidays if your leaving; give back the presents and pack your stuff so that SHE can have a fair shot at getting on with HER LIFE.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2005): I really hate guys like you, your gf has spent 18 months of her life trying to make things work and it sounds like she has made sacrifices so you 2 can be happy and what do you do to repay this great girl? you go and cheat on her, and dont say ur not cheating you are, your gf deserves so much better then you, and you wonder why you argue and your gf is jealous? you dont spend time with her becuase your out with this other women and when you are around her your probably giving off all the obvious guilty signs. Leave her and let her get on with her life because she deserves someone in her life that really cares and loves her and wil be thier 4 her.
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female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (13 December 2005):
 Let me just begin by saying...
Your girlfriend has invested more into your relationship than you have, it is plain to see... you say that you are her world and she has alienated herself from all her friends to invest all her energies in you.Every time I see this happen with young women, I feel deeply saddened, it is such a pity that she has given up everything in order to be with you, I just wish these girls would see how self destructive this train of behaviour can prove to be, when the man they have given so much to, one day encounters someone who is more appealing to them, and their attentions stray.
As long as the human race exists, there will always be more fun, cooler, and more attractive people around...
this does not mean as soon as you encounter such a person, you need to drop everything, including the woman you are sharing a life with, and go running into that new persons arms.You are living together... this means you are actually living as a married couple would, minus the paper work.Well, this is the fact of the matter, so.. what were your intentions with your girlfriend, in the first place? ... when you decided to share your home with her?
She must have been special enough when you made that decision, but now that the novelty has worn off, the grass is looking greener over on the other side.
Well, when two people live together, you see each other both at your best, and at your worst. You share life on a deeper level than you would, if you were just dating.
You share the mundane day to day experiences, and suddenly, this person doesn't look that exiting to you any more... THIS IS CALLED REAL LIFE IN THE REAL WORLD.
The two of you are always fighting about the fact that YOU have a life?? What is all that about? Why do you have a life seperate from her, is my question? She's been good enough to share your home and your bed with for 18 months, and now... you have a life and she doesn't??
Something is very wrong with this picture...
You have invested 18 months together,examine your heart...
is giving up a woman who obviously adores you and worships the very ground you walk on, what you want to do?
She has in no way wronged you, in fact, the only misdemeanor, if you can call it that, on her behalf, is she is jealous and a bit insecure... but she has been good to you, hasn't she? You must ask yourself also, what have you done to cause her jealousy and insecurity? She would not be this way for no reason at all.
But in any event, what you are doing with this new girl is cheating and it is wrong... nobody can tell you who to choose, but remember... your new interest will also one day become less exiting and less appealing as time goes on, things have a habit of looking rosy in the beginning of all relationships.... then the REAL world comes to greet you, and you wake from your dreamy state of consciousness.....
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (13 December 2005):
 Obviously, it is unfair to your current girl friend to stay with her if you long for someone else. Before you breal things off with her you should try to think about a few things. Have you done this in previous relationships? Is this some kind of pattern for you, as soon as things become less fun and more work do you line up a replacement? If it is a pattern you should figure out why you do it so that you don't repeat it with this new lady. If this is not a pattern for you and it is just one of those things that happened, let your girlfriend go don't keep stringing her along making her think she has a chance with you.
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female
reader, QOTU +, writes (13 December 2005):
 Firstly... We women don't have to live for you men. That's a HORRIBLE thing to do, making her cut all her friends from her life and "live just for you". I don't care if you say it was her own choice, it's obvious that she chose it BECAUSE of you!!!
Secondly - After she's gone and made a big personal sacrifice like that, you go ahead and CHEAT on her by seeing some other hoozie behind her back!
I think you should leave her - she's better off without a horrible man like you, torturing her.
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female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (13 December 2005):
 Well, if you want to be with this other women, leave your girlfriend. Either way, you're hurting her. You spending time with this other women and wanting to be with her. You are giving her emotional feelings and that does classify in cheating. There are many forms of cheating and I'm sorry, but that is one of them. You having feelings for someone else is usually just as bad.
Your girlfriend may need you, but I'm sure she can get on with her own life without you. The sooner the better, you know? Don't be stringing her along with you if she is not what you want.
You obviously don't want to be with her, so why stay unhappy in this relationship you two share? If you're happier with this other woman, go for her. Life's too short to be unhappy with somone. I'm sure your girlfriend would get over it and find someone new that would like to be with just her and share the life that she wants.
There's no reason to stay around if this isn't what you want. Let her know that you found someone else you feel you are more compatible with and would like to pursue the feelings you have for her and you and your girlfriend have grown apart from one another and wanting different things out of your relationship.
You're hurting your girlfriend going behind her back and doing these things.
Good Luck!
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