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female
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*weetieB
writes: iv been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2years and he just asked for a break. we have a fantastic relationship or at least i thought we did but this has come out of nowhere. just 2 months ago he was extremely loved up. now he wants no contact for at least 2 weeks and its only been 3 days and im dying. what do i do? should i contact him and ask him to tell me what is really going on or wait the 2 weeks and see if he wants to get back together?
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (27 December 2005):
 While he may need a break from you, he must realize this also gives you time to think. Maybe you will find you dont want to be in the relationship anymore. Maybe you will find someone else. I feel when someone asks for a break, they dont stop to think (beyond their own selfish reasons) that they are taking the risk of losing that person.
The only thing you can do is give him the time he is asking for. But dont dwell on him, which I know is easier said that done. Go out with your friends and keep busy. When he does call, dont sound depressed and lost without him, that is just what he wants and expects to hear. Be strong, happy and give him that impression that your life can go on without him in it. Because it can and it will.
Listen to what he has to say and go with your intuition. Do not be intimate with him until all has been said, or he may close up on you. This is a crucial time for you, and it his chance to make amends with you, to win your heart back, to realize how much he missed you and took you for granted.
You have given him the time he needs, now it is your turn to let him know what you need. Keep in mind you are the best thing that has come into his life. It is your decision if he is lucky enough that you allow him back into your life, since he is the one who needed the break. Compromising the amount of time spent together is a good start. If you feel that you are being short changed and he isnt willing to work with you, he isnt worth your time. If he is willing to compromise and realizes what a good thing he had, then he may be a keeper.
A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (14 December 2005):
 I've been here a few times and honestly it was because I was smothering the person I was involved with. However, I don't agree with the two weeks no communication thing. I don't set deadlines to work out major problems. Does anybody really think that in those 14 days I could just solve the world. I don't think in 14 months I could deal with the problems going on in my life. So putting a time frame on this is not COOL. I know it hurts like hell; however your best bet is to respect the other person's wishes. What if you needed a small break would you want them to understand? Someday's I really need a break from my fiancee and not because of her because I know that if I talk to her about some things it will translate to a problem/issue in our relationship. However, I never have and never will say don't call me. I've seen this approach go two ways. Time apart makes you miss someone so much your glad their back or Time apart unclouds your tunnel vision to see what you really want. I would encourage you to not dwell on this and to actively seek other opportunities for recreation. I.E. The gym! I go to the gym or for long walks because somedays I struggle with my self esteem. I now approach this as my time to get myself together and handle my business. I cannot make her happy unless I'm happy and vice versus. So even if she wants to end this someday, I need to keep my head clear and focus on what makes me happy so that someone else will not endure that break(up). I do think the worst while that person is gone but learning to respect myself, definately helps me prepare for what they have to say. I no longer worry about what they needed the time apart for, I worry about having fun while their gone. I cannot change their feelings but, I can make sure that I'm O.K. with their decision.
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A
male
reader, USMCNJ +, writes (14 December 2005):
I think you should let him be for two weeks. And I defiantly don’t think you should do the same thing to him in two month just to get him back. Don’t call him, text msg him or any other contact. If you do he won’t realized what he’s missing. Or so I’ve been told. I’m on day 2 my self and it’s hard, especially so close to the holidays.
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A
female
reader, sexychick3 +, writes (14 December 2005):
i think u should wait until the 2 week is over to have contract with him cause he might need sometime to think if he really wants to be with u or not cause i'm in the situation right now and i know how it feels.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2005): I would give him the 2 weeks ,but i do think its very strange he is asking for the 2 weeks apart and i do think it is abit unfair for him to just walk out like that and just expect you to handle it, if he does come back id wait a couple of months and do the same thing to him and go on some great holiday or someting just so he knows what its like to feel anxious and insecure, i really dont feel you should be putting your life on hold for this guy, i think you should go live it up a little go shopping or even take a holiday for yourself I think his very selfish to just go like that, and i think the hole situation is going to cause trouble in the relationship. good luck
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A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (13 December 2005):
 Here is how I see it, if you don't give it the two weeks he will probably resent you for not giving him the time off he requested. I am concerned at what he thinks he will be able to work out in two weeks and why he would want to work it out seperately from you. If you two were to be married and have children he would not be able to just take two weeks away from the family just because he needs to think. I think this guy may need to grow up a little and realize that in a lasting relationship you should be able to get through your problems with your partner not away from them. Give him his two weeks and see what he has to say, but I would expect a very good conversation of why he felt he needed this space from you and if he anticipates this being a regular thing for him. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2005): hmmmm...it is curious why your boyfriend requested not to speak with you for exactly 2 weeks. maybe he needs some time to sort our his emotions. after being together for almost three years, most relationships hit a point where individuals start thinking: where is this headed? marriage or breakup? it sounds like you have nothing to worry about considering that your boyfriend was "lovey" with you 2 months ago..but you never know..people's feelings do change.
i think your best bet is to let him have the time he requested and wait out the 2 weeks (even though it is going to be HARD!!!!) maybe it would be a good time for you to take some time out for yourself to evaluate things. think about how you feel...and keep busy! read, go out with friends, watch tv, catch a movie, go clubbing, ANYTHING to get your mind off what he needed those 2 weeks for.
once you are back to ocmmunicating after the 2 weeks, THEN he will probably let you know his feelings and why he needed the time. you should respect that he needs space, and he will appreciate that you gave it to him. best of luck!!!
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