A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, there are two potential boyfriends in my life: Guy A and Guy B. Guy A is totally perverted, kind of mean, but pretty good-looking. Guy B is really, really nice, smart, religious, outgoing, fun, and, on paper, my soul mate. The thing is, I like Guy A, and I hate it. He's got the whole athletic, tall, muscular thing going on and I can't help it but want him to hold me. Guy B is good-looking too, but I just don't like him for some reason. I'm pretty sure Guy B likes me, and I really want to like him back, but every time I talk to him, I'm just annoyed and I don't know why. Should I work harder to get to know Guy B, or should I accept that there's no chemistry and ignore him?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 I see plenty of letters on this site from girls having problems like yours and I never can understand why at age 16 girls feel they MUST choose between two options neither one they are convinced about.
Guy A is not boyfriend material,- guy B there's no chemistry with him , which one do you choose ?..
Easy answer : neither one !
You wait for a better option, someone who is a good person AND attracts you physically .
After all at 16 it's not like you are never gonna meet any more people and have no more chances ! At your age,you can afford being selective !
A
male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (30 April 2010):
 I had a girl in my life who was PERFECT on paper... but after two months of trying things out, I realized I really just didn't click with her. I wanted her, but just didn't like her! At the same time, though, not every guy that you do have a crush on is a smart choice to date. There have been a multitude of women in my life that I liked, but knew myself well enough to know it wouldn't end well. (I know I just put in a lot about me... I'm just saying I've been there)
I think you should just chill out for now, why date either of them? You don't like Guy B, so don't force things, but you know you don't want to like Guy A, so just don't move ahead with him either. Hope that helps. Let us know what you do!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Both. Accept that there i sno chemistry, and don't get involved with guy B. But get to know him better and keep him around as a friend if you can? Just, be careful and not lead him on. We can't help much with who we fall in love with, who we get the chemistry with. And many women fall for the "bad boy" charm, that guy A has. Its just a good thing you have recognised that guy A isn't any good for you.
As it is with falling in love, it is a pretty shallow feeling. It comes and goes. Real deeper love is different. You may end up loving a guy like guy B, but not a guy like guy A. Know what I mean?
But, in either case, you can't make yourself fall in love with someone. Not quite. When the chemistry is there it is there. What you can comfort yourself with though is that even if you don't end up in a great relationship with guy B, there are more men out there who you haven't met yet. That can be just as great as guy B, and that you will have the cemistry with!
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A
female
reader, {*HyPa~AzN~hUnNiE~*}  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 you cant force yourself to like someone and you really shouldnt!! always ends up in disasters (been there, done that...)
So the guy that you do like, you say hes rude and blah blah...then dont date him...Stay friends with him and see if his attitudes change after being with someone then decide
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A
female
reader, Keira9312 +, writes (30 April 2010):
 You should try to cope with the fact that you and Guy B could be a perfect match. All you need to do is talk to him. If you make the choice to like Guy A, who you don't know very well, you could be hurt. Sometimes the best-looking and most athletic guys can be overly-perverted jerks. Guy A sounds immature and mean; he also sounds like the type that hits on girls even when he has a gf. My advice? Take Guy B. He is bound to understand and respect you more!!
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