A
female
age
30-35,
*reypebble
writes:Heya, i met this guy about 5 months ago? And since then i've always had a thing for him. I'm a natural flirt, and i never realise im doing it until my female friends tell me, anyway this guy said to me 'Stop your flirting' in a joking way. Now we are really close best friends and we reguraly joke that we're going to get married, and have children together. We've even kissed a few times. It's obvious to everyone that i like him, and he even flirts back with me too. My mother and father love him so much tha they call him their son-in-law!! Theres only one problem - He's Bi-sexual and he has a new boyfriend. He tells me everything about his relationships and i help him if hes upset or confused about his boyfriends, but this new guy he's dating seems to be taking my friend away from me. I dont know what to do, i really really like him so much but i'm scared incase he rejects me. I also know that i should let him have his own realtionships. Please help me
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (17 October 2009):
 You're in a difficult situation. You have to share a guy with other men, and yet you have relationship expectations which are nearly monogamous.
You have formed emotional bonds with him that are starting to run very deep, and you are intimate enough with him to know his sexual side.
But please, proceed with caution here. Its very difficult to get involved in a polyamorous relationship especially with a bi-sexual.
You have to balance your sexual and emotional needs with his, which sometimes run contradictory to each other.
Then there's the health issues. Bi-sexual men though this is generalized, are sharing their bodies with men who have shared their bodies with other men. This raises the spectre of AIDS and other STD's.
Inasmuch as you love this guy, he poses emotional and physical risks. So going much further on with him is going to lead to all sorts of future problems.
It sounds to me like he's a close friend, but I would say you need to find a man for you that doesn't pose these kinds of risks to you.
Some women can accept sexual freedom in a relationship and proceed that way. And that's fine if you prefer an open relationship but if this is where you're heading you better find out where your guy stands in all of this so that you don't get hurt.
Honesty is especially important here. And if he considers you a friend and not a love interest, then start dating guys that are more interested in you than other guys.
Its that simple.
I really do feel for you since you've found a guy you really enjoy being with, but unfortunately you have to share him! Like I said, its much more complex and requires a great deal of non conventional living here. Unless you're open to this, I would say he will only lead you to heartbreak.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 October 2009):
He's in a relationship and is therefore not yours to touch. Focus on yourself and spend time getting over him.
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