A
female
age
41-50,
*ari8
writes:Hi, I hope you can give me some advice.I am a single mum and I've been single since I split from my daughter's father 3 years ago. My ex and I get along well and he still is a fantastic Dad and my daughter loves his gilfriend, so I have no problems there.Since we split I have sworn off men and been celibate because I didn't want to be hurt/used again, I'm only 25 and a lot of people have never understood that I was very happy to be on my own and that I didn't want another man in my life.Well, recently I have started to like a guy and I know he likes me - problm is he is 17 years older than me. When he told me his age I couldnt believe it, he looks in his 30's..... am I being stupid, or could it work with someone who is only 10 years younger than my Mum? Plus, it's been so long that the thought of having sex absolutly terrifies me. Help!? x
View related questions:
celibate, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 July 2007):
 A lonely person cannot be abused or hurt, but she can't be loved, either. I think you're too young to swear off men. I would understand it if you became pickier; but, though nobody is perfect, there is someone out there who would truly love you. You see, I'm a man and I know about this.
If you have opened up the door to like this new guy, I think it is because you feel that this man will be different. I would hate to spoil something that is going out well, but I want to warn you that he will be imperfect, too, and that, therefore, you should not expect the man to be up to severe standards. Give him a chance, with all of the imperfections you will find in him. Don't let human, natural imperfection, stand in your way.
I don't think it's the sex that terrifies you. It's opening up to someone.
Now, there is another question to answer. Is it possible for a 42-year old man have a good relationship with a 25-year old woman? Yep, it is. Or it may not. It all depends on the two people involved. I'm afraid I cannot answer that question since I don't know you personally.
If anything I say should help you, let this be it: Don't close the door to love just because you were hurt in the past.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Agony Aunt Saskia +, writes (1 July 2007):
You can't help who you fall for, and after 3 years of no men and no sex anyone would be terrified of being hurt again. To me, age is just a number, you see plenty of women walking around with their toyboy lovers...they are'nt ashamed, they're happy. I reckon you should give it a go with this man, take it very slowly though so you have time to know for sure that he's a keeper. I'm not saying that relationships don't have there problems, everyone has to have a bicker every now and again and sometimes relationships do break up, but that does'nt mean its the end of the world, from your previous relationship you have a daughter and get on with your ex very well which you don't hear of often anymore!. You and this older man could be made for eachother...you never know unless you try, i'm sure he has fears aswell, he may not have ever considered that a young, single woman would be interested in him!...go on a few dates, get to know eachother and if it does'nt work out at least he's got you back onto the dating circuit!
...............................
A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (1 July 2007):
 Hey your both over 18 consenting adults so the laws no in your way.
Also your both adults!! I see no reason why age can get in the way of a good relationship no matter the age gap.
You may get people who will give you looks, but ignore them and you could have a great relationship
...............................
|
