A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I’ve been at this job for almost 6 months now my coworker has been here for 8 and I’ve recently noticed that when I ask him a question directly he does not address me. Example: I was sending him a message on our IM system asking him a question for a client and the when he came back to help he completely turned his attention to me and gave the solution to my coworker. When I brought this up he said that my coworker has had the benefit of learning from him where I have not so our new manager will have to work on the things with me whenever they manage to get someone hired ( no set time frame)in the mean time I’m not sure how to take his blatant preferential treatment. Any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2020): It makes no sense answering someone who hasn't asked a question. I'm starting to wonder if your manager is trying to get the point across that if he tells you something, he doesn't expect you to listen? He tells your co-worker who might get the point across to you better than he can. There are some people who are openly-bigoted; but it gets dicey when they do it in-front of witnesses.
If I had to judge by your post, I would find it inconclusive that the manager is discriminating against you.
It is very important that you take time to work-on your sentence-structure and grammar. If English is not your first-language; perhaps your manager is frustrated due to a language-barrier. I can't be sure if discrimination is actually the problem; it may be a problem in communication.
I had a very difficult time reading and understanding your post. I get the gist of it; and trust me, I know what discrimination is and what it feels like! Your questions may come across somewhat disjointed and confusing; if you've written them on an IM like you're messaging someone on social media, or texting a friend.
You have to be professional at work, and use your best grammar when addressing your manager. If he isn't a bigot or a racist as you suspect; you have to make sure that you're clearly understood. If you are both in training, he is speaking to both of you. You were obviously next to each other, and you got the answer.
Does it really matter who he's looking at if he answers your questions?
Next time you have a question, walk-up to your manager and ask. Then wait for your answer. Have a pad and pen handy to write down the answers for a cheat-sheet to refer to. Sometimes you can ask the same question too many times! Maybe he thinks you're not studying and catching-on during your training sessions. Your co-worker may be more attentive than you are.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2020): Judging from your post you don't seem to be able to convey your thoughts clearly in writing. Clear and consize writing is a reflection of a persons clear thinking and competance. Also you are still relatively new to the job so you have to make extra effort to fit in the team. My advice is be patient and work harder to learn the job. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2020): Clarification: I was IM’ing my manager. My manager is the one ignoring my questions and not answering and giving the answers to the coworker who was standing next to me instead of just telling me the answer I stood by and heard but was not directed to me. I was directly asking my manager a question. My manager chose to ignore me and give the answer to the coworker even though we have the same job. This is just one example of different treatment that my coworker receives.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 February 2020):
 Ask your boss/manager (whomever you report to and who you work under) how you are supposed to learn your job when this guy CHOOSES to ignore you questions.
My question to you is this though, IS this other guy SUPPOSED to be the one you ask for help? Or is he in another team than you? But you know that he has more knowledge so you ask him?
You might want to figure out what the structure is in the environment that you work in, because it's not clear from your post whether this guy IS the one you are "supposed" to go to or not.
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