A
female
age
51-59,
*onelyinlove
writes:hello out there..my ? is this..we have been 2gether 2 yrs I love him, but i have lied in the past (not anymore) he says we are done. He knows the lies, for awhile i used drugs, i was caught by him, they were to take away the pain of him rejecting me, he throws my past in my face all the time, omits me from family events, we argue, i just dont make him happy anymore. I lost my job making 85000 a year to stress and depression, i found a text on his phone to someone he does printing for saying ..thanks babe...last week he gave me a 30 day to vacate notice..all my money went to his sole account..im broke with a 5yr old..and no where to go...what do i do when i still love him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (27 August 2007):
 Listen to Reina, shes on the mark once again. Think about your child, your his whole world and he needs you to be strong. Forget the BF, accept your mistakes, heal yourself and keep moving forward. Even if you cant muster it for yourself do it for your kid, thats ok for now.
A
female
reader, lonelyinlove +, writes (27 August 2007):
lonelyinlove is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanx guys for the advice, i have tried over and over again to prove myself but it doesnt work, i believe that had never felt the aftermath of his divorce, see we were friends for along time, his ex was my best friend. 6 weeks after she left him he moved me in, please consider that all along i was telling her she was a fool to leave because he has high family values, i was the fool....all i did was keep him from feeling the pain and heartache because i took it away from him, now he is over her, and me...again, tahnk you debbie
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A
female
reader, Reina +, writes (26 August 2007):
Get the hell outta there! Do you have any family? If not, file for financial aid. Seek professional care. Get yourself together. Get legit, and dump this dude. Your relationship has gone sour and there's probably no way to make it right again. Don't be weak. Don't give in. Think about your child. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007): I think it's very wrong to accept or think you can accept a person back and then! treat her inconsiderately. He never forgave you, since he throws the past in your face constantly. If he knew he can't forgive you, why did he not break contact instead of prolonging the unhappiness for both of you. Dependng on the magnitude of lies, it's hard more or less to trust again. How did you try and prove him you can be truthful? You must know if he is willing to talk and help you find a solution to your problems. Also ask him kindly to never bring about the past story, because you know you have changed. It's not easy to have dealt with depression, but you have to be strong to avoid a relapse for the sake of the child. Tell him if he can't be at peace with what happened, to at least accept rebuilding friendship. You have to learn to be friends again, before being spouses, to make it work...
Take care dear.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (26 August 2007):
 Hi lonelyinlove,
The trouble here is your guy doesnt trust you anymore. Some people aren't very tolerent when it comes to lies. I know i am one of those people. My ex told a few porkies, which i know were to protect me, or rather, he says, because he loved me so much and was scared of losing me.
But relationships are all about trust and mutual things in common and sometimes someone that can lie, isn't the sort of person we can be with, someone we know we would always be wondering what else they are lying about.
I guess it all depends how strongly you feel about things.
Communication communication and more communication is what you need here. Beg steal or borrow to get him back! (not literally!) but if that fails, you know you tried your best and will have to accept you messed up and learn from it for the future. Sometimes we just cant undo what has happened.
Get back to me in message if you want to talk anymore.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, 88jane +, writes (26 August 2007):
 i think you need to take control of your life on your own and try to establish some foundations for yourself and your child! i dont think he is going to support you in this so you need to be strong and do it yourself! if you have had drug use and have depression then seeking some professional help may help you get your life back in order! dont be scared to ask for help, there are plenty of professionals who can help you with this! do you have friends that can support you through this?you were wrong to lie but i understand this may have been through fear! he is punishing you for this but is taking it too far! you need to get on with your life without him, at least for a short while until you have re-established the foundations of your life!i hope things go well for you!! mail me if you want to chat further!! good luck hunni!xxxx
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (26 August 2007):
 I think to be totally honest you need to get your own life in order first off especially as you have a child. Personally although you were wrong to lie I do think he has taken things too far in return.
You have to get back on track for the sake of your child and in all honesty he should help you but it seems very apparent he wont. I think getting yourself back on track, maybe including some form of professional help, is the only answer to this question; you never know if you show you can do that then you may well start to make him happy again and there maybe a future for you both. Hope that helps. Good luck. :)
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