A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I've done something stupid and need your advice on how to fix it...I've been with my bf for 3 months, he's amazing and I am falling for him. Now, the problem is that I told him I'm 29, but I'm actually 30 (he's 29). I didn't intentionally lie, I always seem to forget my age when people ask me, but our birthdays are 2 days apart so now he's getting excited about the fact we're both turning 30 and planning a party. When he talks about it, he seems so excited that I can't bring myself to tell him I'm going to be 31, so I kinda go along with it, which I know is stupid of me.I really don't know what to do. I know I should just tell him, but don't know how to explain myself. I'm not sure why I didn't just correct him sooner, and now I've misled him and I'm worried he will be hurt. Other than that, our relationship is great, open, honest and caring, a refreshing change. He's been cheated on before, and I feel so stupid for betraying his trust over such a silly matter. What should I do? How do you think he'll react? How should I explain myself?? Thanks:) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 hi
aw silly you! i do that sometimes! you'll just have to tell him. it was a mistake, not a malicious lie and then you felt stupid owning up. i don't see a reason why he wouldn't accept it, but the longer you let it continue the worse it'll be. i hope you tell him BEFORE the party at some point?! to anyone who has already been invited he can just down play it, just coz it'll be his 30th and your 31st, so what? you can still have a joint party.
in my opinion, i don't see that mistakenly telling him the wrong age and then feeling worried to own up to your mistake is in the same league as the deliberate infidelity he has been subjected to in the past, so i THINK you have no worries. don't agonise over it any longer, just spit it out
xx
A
male
reader, foolishsage  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 I actually really like Lucy Lee's idea too and I think that's one approach that you could take for sure.
Myself - I'd actually try my very, very best to make light of the situation and paint myself as a bit of an airhead. I'd wait until the two of you were alone and hang my head down in shame and ask him if he's going to break up with you for being mentally challenged because you just took an iq test and it told you that you had a room temperature iq. When he looks confused or tries to comfort you (disarmed), then go on to ask him if he's ever forgotten about something so obvious and so mundane like what day to take out the trash or what time an appointment was or what year he was actually born in. And then tell him that you made an innocent mistake when you first told him your age and that you just flaked and that you're sorry and tell him why you had such a hard time telling him. And yes - you need to tell him soon!
Good luck - remember, 9 out of 10 obstacles can be overcome more effectively if you introduce humor into it and follow it up with complete honesty.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): You just explained it here perfectly all you need now is a pair of balls ;)
I love the asking him to read your question idea. I kind of chuckled when I read it. Look he might be pissed for a little while but he shouldn't be too bad and he should see the funny side. Better do it soon though, the more he builds this up in his head the more disappointed he'll be that you hid it from him. Just remember, you're officially a cougar now and we guys love cougars.
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A
male
reader, Azza +, writes (19 January 2011):
He might be a little disappointed because your birthdays are so close and it's something special that he thought you were both turning 30 at the same time.
The only mistake you have made is that you have let this carry on, even if you didn't correct it straight away you should have done soon after. It's an honest mistake you have made in my eyes and I really don't think he will be bothered. It's just one year difference after all. I could only see him getting angry if you were far from the age you said you were like five years difference.
Goodluck, I think it will be fine.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (19 January 2011):
 Silly you...
Its only 1 year apart. Its not like ur 40 & u told him ur 20? Its a new relationship, 3mos.. So just talk to him, right place, moment & just be honest w/him. I know he was excited cause he thinks u both are same age, but its ok, he'll understand, appreciate & really, its not a big deal. The sooner the better... What if he start making plans, then u'll feel worst than u do now..
Congrats on ur new relationship..
Wish you both the best luck..hope u both have a great party...
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A
female
reader, cutiepiesensei +, writes (19 January 2011):
That's not really a big deal. Just go up to him and be like "baby.....um you know how youre excited about our birthdays coming up? Well here's the thing, I'm 30 already....I lied about my age because I didn't know how you would take it and I'm sorry. You just seemed so happy and I didn't want to upset you. I'm really sorry and I hope you don't think my one year difference in age is a deal breaker"Showing him that you went on the internet before talking to him might make it a bit worse for you
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