A
male
age
36-40,
*njoimx
writes:Hi! I am 23 and this is my second real gf ever. This summer, I fell for a girl who also fell for me...the attraction was mutual, instant, and the relationship was intense and amazing. She slept at my house every night for the three months we dated during the summer. We did everything together, climbing, concerts, dancing, road trips, partying, cooking. This was the first girl i ever slept with.After summer, I went back to school, which is where i am now. At first we tried to make it work long distance, although we were quite ambiguous about the terms of our relationship after we left our summer location. She is in a place where we both have mutual friends. This place is conducive to no responsibility, partying, fun, and carefree nature of life. I am in a school environment with hardly any friends yet. I sort of changed my lifestyle to go back and finish school. I have homework, work, stress, and not many good friends.After a few awkward conversations and her self-admission of being bad at communication, she decided we should not be monogomous anymore.I really love this girl and I dont want to lose her. How do I move on emotionally so i am not so attached and worried about our relationship? I have tried sleeping with another girl but couldnt do it as I just didnt feel it emotionally. I basically only want to be with the girl i met this summer, but we cant be together and im worried she will meet someone new in this place where she is, where everyone is into partying and having fun and living dangerously.I have been doing everything i can to try to learn about healthy relationships, setting people free, and growing in my self, but i just dont want to forget about this amazing girl i met. I want her to be happy ultimately, and if that means her being without me, i need to come to accept that and move on....but i dont know how.Thanks for any help!
View related questions:
long distance, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, agonyunclechris  +, writes (25 October 2007):
 hey
you have had an amazing experience with her and i presume she has had an amazing experience with you.
however at the moment in the situation it can only be an experience.
you need to just take the experience as a lesson and evolve from it and become a better stronger person from it.
you need to move on and this will be a very hard thing to do ,i know ive done it many times and they say time is a great healer although you need alot of time to heal this problem
just move on with your life as normal , find a new girl you can have new experiences with
dont try and recreate what you had with this previous girl it wont work and will just bring you down
good luck
chris
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Hi. Well you have had a fantastic summer vacation, with the girl of your dreams, done dreamy things together and now you are back to studying and you are both in separate locations. I think you are going to have to look back on it as a lovely memory and move on. I know it is hard but look on it as an experience and learn from it. You had a great time but she admits she isnt good at communication. She wants to have fun and be young and you will have to accept this. The best i can say is that you have to get on with your studying and meet new friends in the area that you are at now. Just take each day as it comes and dont beat yourself up. This hurting thing is not just for girls, blokes hurt like hell too. My eldest son went through the same as you and now years later he is married with a little boy of his own, life does get better. There are better days ahead even though they feel crap right now. Forget her, she is a lovely memory. You will meet someone who you so deserve and will want to be with you no matter what.
take care - you are a lovely person!!
xx
...............................
|
