A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 7 years. We dont do anything together or talk and have had no intimacy for 4 years. When he goes to the pub he comes home late expecting his dinner. I think I still love him but can't put up with it anymore. I need a bit of affection. Please help, should I get rid and try and get on with my life? I know he won't change. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 It looks like your hubby needs a wake up call. I find men of this generation often are used to the lifestyle where the boys meet at the pub every night and wifey has dinner waiting for them at home. But in this day and age many women are breaking out of this routine and rightly so, they expect their marriage to be a partnership of equals.
The problem for your husband is realising this, his mates will be in similar situations ( those whose wives havent given them the boot that is )it will be a tough call for him to break his boys club habit, so I think you are going to need to be firm on this.
You need to break this cycle of him spending all his time at the pub, the first step is to not have his dinner waiting for him when he gets home, tell him if he's out boozing all night he can make his own dinner. he can cook. Its time to stop playing the role of "her indoors" . Good luck!
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Hmmm - what do you think is causing this situation? I think that should be your starting point. Write down the reasons that you think - along with any possible suggestions/solutions. Now do as the others have suggested - have a chat with him - tell him that you are close to calling it a day - ask him what his perspective is - and if he can make a similar list. Have chat together again . See what can be achieved through this - at least you have tried. Nothing worse than regretting a hasty decision. Good luck .
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Here are your only options: Tell him how you feel, and ask him to make some changes in his behavior or you will exit the marriage. Or insist on marital counseling, otherwise you're packing your bags and he'll have to make his own dinner when he comes home after making rounds at the pubs. I mean afterall, how can he expect you to survive on nothing? That's not a marriage in my opinion and it sounds like he checked out of yours a long time ago. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Have you tried sitting him down and having a long chat with him, tell him how you feel. Tell him the lot, what have you got to lose? Him? Er, it sounds to me like you are not even happy to have him around. Find out just what is going on. If he is feeling like you then he may want to get things back on track and pull it all around. If not, then ask yourself just what do your want? Life is too bloody short, and if we only get one go of this then make it a good one!!
Lay your cards on the table, no joy, then move on. If i could manage on my own with a small child then you will be fine!!!
take care
xx
xx
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