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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi Friends,I have two kids almost 3 and almost 2. I was engaged with their father for almost 3years.He was very sweet when we first met but after my first pregnancy he started changing more argument about financial.He was upset with one night I was 8month pregnant and he pushed me and covered my mouth. I decided due to my child and not having a stable him I decided to forgive him. Now we have two kids it got worse he kept hitting me whenever he getting angry. I decided to take my kids and leave him. I wanted to start all over again with my kids. He wanted me back . But I told him I don't want to be with him. He gettes angry over putting makeup .he say you don't know how to put makeup . And I feels down because I want credit for all the things I do. Please help me what should I do. Last time I was with him he came around 1am and started arguing band I told him please don't wake up the kids I was with them all day long. And he said if they wake up you take care of them that is your job.
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male
reader, Boris Grushenko  +, writes (19 August 2019):
 Abuse should be a red flag in any case. Doesn't matter if it's psychological - which is harder to recognize - or physical. It will only get worse: you'll encounter violence time and a again and this man will need less and less reason to hit you a next time. In the meanwhile he will make you feel guilty because he'll claim it's your behaviour that makes him act as he does. Moreover, the longer this situation drags on, the more you'll feel scared and insecure about leaving.
For the sake of your childeren, for your own sake, please leave. Find out what you can do to legally protect yourself and your childeren. And if you can afford it, try counselling; your scars are not just physical but emotional as well.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (17 August 2019):
 Shaking my head in disbelief. Are you serious? Or is this, perhaps, another troll, bored and killing time by posting spoof questions for people to answer? As I have no proof to the contrary, I will take it on face value and respond assuming it is real.
If this was a friend of yours coming to YOU for advice with THIS story, what would you tell her?
Would you say "You should get back with this abuser and put yourself and your children through misery"?
Or would you say "Get the hell away and STAY the hell away"?
I cannot understand why you would even consider getting back with him. And why are you letting him into your home at silly o'clock? Or at any time for that matter? Tell him to go away and leave you alone. If he refuses, call the police. Take out a restraining order. Protect yourself and your children. That should be your priority as their mother.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 August 2019):
 Just because you have kids WITH him doesn't mean you have to stay with him or get back together.
YOU know he isn't good for you OR for the kids.
If he doesn't STOP coming by consider getting a Order of protection for you OWN safety.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 August 2019):
 That's another post that elicits , as a first reaction, a big WTF. What do you do ? Look, whatever you do, it's very clear what you should not do and what you should not allow. You should not go back to him, and you should not allow him around you by himself or without witnesses. Never mind the make up thing or whatever other pettiness he is up to- but : he hit you while you were 8 month pregnant !!… Excuse me ?... What else would you want to do, other than calling it a day with him, giving him a wide berth, and asking for child support through the Court ?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 August 2019):
 No. You have told him you don't want to be with him. You have good reason to not be with him, physical abuse is never okay. If you take him back and he hits you … and he will hit you, make no mistake about that …. you will be teaching your kids that hitting and being hit is okay.
Don't do that to your kids, break the cycle of violence. You don't say where you live but in most countries of the world there are organisations and other women who will help you. Look online, find a group or organisation near to you and ask them to help you with this.
I hope you don't take him back.
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