A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy and now I'm staying with him. He's a bit older than me and he's very nice. I've known him for a year or two now, we only knew each other for about two weeks before I moved in with him. I thought he was the nicest guy. He showered me with attention, he made me feel good about myself [lifted my low self-esteem] and made me fall head over heels in love with him. After a week or so, he started saying these things like: "Why do love me?", "I'm a terrible person.", "A part of me wants you to leave so that you'll be fine but the other stronger half is so reluctant to let you go. Don't you know your playing with fire?" I didn't pay much attention to it then, if anything it excited me more and more. Slowly and slowly his behaviour has become more volatile. Yesterday, he got really mad at me for something really small that I did, and he jumped up out of his chair, pushed me down into the chair I was standing in front of, and tried to force me to apologize, and when I wouldn't he put his hand around my throat, not roughly but it scared me all the same. When I finally apologized he started panting and cursing and then he apologized and ran off to the bedroom. I was so scared and traumatized - but at the same time I was so aroused and horny and confused. I slept on the couch that night.The next morning he told me that he had some issues, but he was working them out with professional help, and that he was really sorry for bringing me in to them. He said that he really loves me and wants to be with me, but if he did it again he wants me to leave immediately. He did it again yesterday, I kicked him onto the floor by accident [in my sleep] and he kind of attacked me. He pulled me off the bed with him and slammed my lower body into the hard floor. I didn't really know what was happening until he covered my eyes and started fondling me. He hasn't said anything to me all day. My question is: I don't wanna leave him but I think I should. I know this can escalate to something else . . . something terrible but I like it. I mean I really like it. What would you guys do in this predicament because I'm lost here.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): I spent most of today locked in a closet with him. Then I was handcuffed to a bedpost and he left me there. For four hours. I was scared and I was exhilarated all at the same time. When he finally let me go I was so mad that I scratched him across the face. Needless to say, we ended up in a onesided fight [I was basically beating him up. I'm ashamed of myself.] until he slammed me on the floor and tied my hands behind my back and my knees together with some gimp he hid in the couch. At that point I was to scared to fight back.
He propped me upon the couch and covered my face with his shirt. To make a long story short, I got spanked. Afterward, he apologized and told me that he loved me but I should get away from him. Next thing he said scares me more than anything else. "Your pain is everything."
My neighbor called the police because she heard me screaming, the police called my mother to come get me from the station. They asked me a lot of questions, like was he abusing me, did he hurt me. I told half-truths through most of it. Now, my mother wants me to start living with her again but I really don't wanna be anywhere near her.
A
male
reader, little_goth_bladez  +, writes (17 September 2008):
this sounds very serious when u say you like it it can be due to your personality maybe hes hinting at you to leave him im really stumped on this one
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): You should read a book called 'Women who love too much'. You could maybe, if you are serious about staying with this man go to counselling with him, you should certainly go to someone on your own if not, because it sounds to me as though you could be in a co-dependent abusive relationship. If you need pain to believe you are loved that's not normal. Tell people you are close to what is going on. But get help. If you get excited by the terror you are experiencing it's possible you could find that in another way with someone in a controlled and loving way (bondage for example) but what you have now is bad, bad, bad and dangerous. Take care of yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): well if it was me and he kept on attacking me like that then i would most certainly leave him. no guy should beat up on his girlfriend and still get away from it, i think its just mean. i know if you really love someone you dont want to get him/her into trouble or hurt them but if it turns into something harmful to you then you shouldnt be with him/her...
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A
male
reader, Devil Spawn  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 um, yeah not really much we can say.... I suggest you go and get some professional help.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (17 September 2008):
 It already escalated into something terrible. I would leave.
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