A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey people I need some help! I have been with my gf for 1 year and 9 months. she is my first ever girlfriend. She is the first girl i have ever done anything with. I have only ever kissed one girl before her. We gave each other our virginity and have said that we love each other. I have problem though, one month into the begining of our relationship she started telling me about her past. She told me about a fling she had, but all they did was kiss. She has only ever had sex with me. Well anyway her past bothers me, I know she hasnt done much, but she has done alot more in comparison to me. She has also had 2 other relationships. Well my problem is that it has been on my mind for 90% of the 1 year and 9months we've been together. Normally anything that happens in the past I forget, but this won't get out of my head. This keeps bothering me, its like i cant control it. I have days or even times in the day when im ok but other days/times it pops in my head, and I keep getting visions, and this horrrible feeling in my stomach!!! I need help I dont understand why this keeps happening. Its in the past and I just want to forget it. Do you think i should end this relationship? I dont think my g/f deserves this. Help me, my mind is going crazy, I cant do anything properly in my life.I dont understand if something normally happens in the past i forget about it, because I know I cannot do anything to change it. However this just wont go away! is it because I love her that it bothers me soo much? Thank you very much, I really appreciate everyones help
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): Don't be so sure you can't find some one whose a virgin. There are some of us "good girls" out there. Just because the whole world want you to think ever bodies sucked or fu**** someone doesn't mean it's true.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): Hi,
I am currently experiencing the same thing. Just a small suggestion - think about your future together, and compare it with some other girl. You will definitely go for her. My girlfriend still talks to her ex and i am in touch with my ex too. Her ex gifts her expensive stuff that i cant afford. it makes me insecure. But the bottom line is - she loves me - and she is ready o tell it to the world. If thats the case with you, just tell her that you lover her, and you want a future together.
All the best!
Wish me luck too!
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A
male
reader, kinkydude +, writes (17 September 2008):
love and jealousy don't go together. jealousy is about possession, love is about freedom. My chick has been with numerous guys. I love her, so it doesn't bother me. Focus and the happiness of being with her, creating wonderful moments. The past doesn't exist. Its a memory- move on. Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): Poor you, you have such insecurities. You need to talk to someone you really trust about this. It can be hard when you're very young (or not so young) not to let jealousy issues spoil your love. Or perhaps deep down you're scared you won't ever have any other experiences with anyone else whereas she has and that creates a perceived imbalance for you? Believe me, having sex with someone you're not in love with is a very shallow experience. Don't spoil what you have now. Have you told her how you feel? If you let her know you feel vulnerable she may be able to reassure you. But if not, you are very young, and you will love again. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Hopeful Romantic  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 Do not leave her for the feelings you are having! First of all, you are very lucky that you both lost your virginity together in the first place. That is very hard to find! You are probably just jealous that she has kissed more people than you have, and that my friend is something you are going to have to TRY to get over. If you break up with her, you will get lonely and start dating again... I am 98% sure you will not find anyone your age that is a virgin, so then you'll just get all upset all over again because she has had sex with other people. Which is why when I get in a relationship, I try my best not to talk about my past relationships and I do not ask him questions about his past either. I do not want to know how many poeople he slept with as long as he does not have an STD and I do not care to meet any of his exes... which I usually do end up having to meet one or two and then I get all mad and write on here just as you are now. LoL ... the way I see it is... when you are with someone, and it is the two of you and you are happy, try to keep it that way. Don't let her past bother you when you weren't there to prevent it in the first place, there is nothing you can do becuase you weren't together then or did't know each other then. Love each other for who you are, for today, for your future, don't hate on the past. Think about how bad you would miss her if you did end it over something this silly? The answer may be hard to come to you, but I promise, it is going to be very hard to find a girl that has done nothing with anybody and excites you... stay put my friend and buy her some flowers! :) She loves you or else she wouldn't be with you, so love her for who she is, shake your head, focus on YOU TWO, not her past, and not what didn't happen in your past. You should have a very happy future!
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