A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I want to be happy, and for the pain to stop but I've never felt so alone!I would like to share my life, and I don't know if there's any hope of that or if I just need to GET OVER that desire... furthermore, how do I get over it?I'm 29, and I've had feelings for a series of people, but I always end up the wounded heart. I know that SOME disappointment is part of life, but it ALWAYS happens to me! No one has EVER returned my feelings!Suppose there's someone you have feelings for, but this person doesn't feel the same... they see you as a friend, they have someone, etc. The trouble is, that no one else will EVER be as special to you.Is there any chance things could work out in the future? Or do you just need to GET OVER wanting to share your life?Suppose that no one else will ever mean as much to you. You could find someone else, but that person won't mean as much to you... how could you be happy?
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female
reader, TEM  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 I get the feeling you are talking about a specific person, because you say, "No one else will ever be as special to me." There is someone you have romantic feelings for and he is not reciprocating. At 29, I guess you are wondering if you should ride it out, in the hope that he wants to be more than a friend to you, or move on. As far as that specific person goes, I can't tell you what to do. I don't know if it will be a waste of precious time, or if you hang in there his feelings will change. I am inclined to tell you to move on, however. Chemistry is a strange thing. Early love (infatuation) is based on chemistry, so my feeling really is, either you have it or you don't. If you are just a friend, I think your chances of becoming more than that are slim, based on my own experience, but I could be wrong.However, no one ever gets over the desire to share their life with someone else. This is a basic human need, and very much ingrained in us humans. You will not get over this desire any more than you will get over the need to eat or breath. Procreation is a drive, there's no getting away from that.So, what can you do? Seriously, I don't think you should throw in the towel at the age of 29, even if you have had a few bad experiences. I know it stings, and certainly some of us are more resilient to rejection than others, but the truth is, if you want it, you have to keep putting yourself out there. There are some things you can do to improve your chances of meeting someone you "click" with. Someone you with whom you have chemistry. Very often it is accomplished in pursuit of our interests. What are your interests? If you pursue them, the chances of meeting someone you have something in common with improve. Make a list of 10 things you love to do, and then set about doing them. In the course of this, you may run into someone who loves doing the same things, whether it be photography, dance, music, art, studies, bird watching, sports, etc., etc. To meet someone interested you have to be interesting. Does that make sense to you?There are also a lot of dating sites out there that make the process a little easier. You might consider signing up for one of those. You are young. There's a guy out there for you.Best of luck,TEM
A
female
reader, suteishii  +, writes (29 March 2011):
It sounds silly but I think stop trying and just wait for something to happen. All the best relationships seem to just pop out of the blue!
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A
female
reader, Orbiter +, writes (29 March 2011):
Your post is very subjective, I can't really tell what's going on, but I'll have a guess.So I'm assuming at the end you're saying that you've had feelings for someone, they've not returned them and you think anyone else you try to date won't mean as much to you. At the begininning however you mention you've had feelings for a series of people.Either way that suggests although you might be feeling down at the moment, it seems more than likely that you will find someone else you have feelings for. If you're hung up on one person then you really don't have the experience to be saying it ALWAYS happens to you or that you will never meet someone else that means as much or more to you. As for it working out in the future, of course it can. There's no logical reason to say it wouldn't. If you're too scared to get hurt anymore then you have to weigh up would you rather risk getting hurt again or stay alone forever?It sounds like you've been unlucky in relationships so far, so I suggest you take some time out for now. Also have a look at type of person you go for. If someone is in a relationship with someone else, quickly move on and try to forget about them because it's very, very unlikly to work out, even if they like you back. Also this is just a guess but maybe you need to be a bit more pro-active and start flirting a bit and making your intentions known before they begin to think of you as just a friend but without going overboard and appearing clingy.
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