A
female
age
22-25,
*Kittyx
writes:Hey,I'm writing, because I would like to get some help. Any help would much appreciated.Well, there is this guy I've known since October, and everything was going quite well. I then developed feelings for him, and I thought that he liked me too, as he always used to talk to me, we even started talking on social media. Then he moved, and so now, I only talk to him through social media. Well, I used to, anyway.The problem is, he's started to get very "popular" on social media; he is getting a lot of female attention, as he is very goodlooking.I feel annoyed, because he ignores me when he's getting attention, but then when those girls go, he comes back, and starts acting like nothing happened!! I'm getting so frustrated. I know I am probably his bootycall, and I tell myself that the next time he tries to chat, that I'll ignore him, but when he does eventually come around, I can't bring myself to do it.Does anyone have any advice on what I can do? Thanks x
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (15 February 2015):
 If you are saying "I can't stop", or "I can't keep away", then that's all the more reason to RUN.
You are 15 years old, which makes him 20 years old. I know that the age of consent in the UK is 16, so if this guy is enticing you to have sex over the internet, and if he has sex with you, that would make him a statutory rapist.
Love isn't this obsessive "I can't stay away" feeling, and if he were actually in love with you, he wouldn't take advantage of your age and underdeveloped hormones and cognitive decision-making.
You need to get off of his social media, delete it, AND TELL someone in your family what's going on. You really want help stopping? You tell a parent or trusted adult and expose the obsession. Block this guy and delete him off of your social media. Cut off contact all the way. Don't half-ass it and just say "Well, I'll ignore him". Remove your ability to see his communication, as if he's dead to you.
"Booty call" means that you're his penis holder and he calls for instant sex like you'd order greasy food from a drive-thru fast food restaurant. I think you might not want to use this term.
You're 15. If you have self-control issues, bring your mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandparents, anyone who can help you. Otherwise, you're putting yourself into danger of rape. I doubt you're interested in that at all.
A
female
reader, xgisellex +, writes (14 February 2015):
Hey, okay, so I'm in that age range too (13-15) so I understand what your going through.I think this guy can be described as someone who calls another "fake" or "plastic". My friend actually was talking to a guy older than her (but on,y two years older), and could see the effect it had on her. She thought it was cool to be talking to a guy older than her, and she would always go along with it whenever he came back to her.Im NOT trying to in any way refer to you as that, because I don't even know you cx , but what I am trying to say is that if you haven't exactly listened to any of the other answers here, then I can say I understand. People always say that teens tend to listen to themselves instead of others, and I as one can say I'm agreeing with it.Since you're crushing on this guy, and he once in a while comes back to you, I feel like I understand what he's doing. Is he isn't satisfied with the girls on social media, like if he doesn't get enough likes on a picture on Instagram, or if his followers aren't as many pretty girls as he'd want, Maybe he's just boosting up his self esteem knowing hypos like him, and to him it might seem like you're just going to tag along with whatever he says or wants to do. But I agree with the other answers, and maybe you should just ignore the guy, before you end up hoping for something that might not in fact be true,My aforementioned friend ended up self harming herself when she realized the guys intentions weren't real, and I just want to let you know this before anything bad happens. Try and let him know he can't do that to you, and show him up for doing it in the first place. He should learn his lesson.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 February 2015):
 Midnight Shadow is correct - "booty call" mean a late night call for sex not just texting and chatting...
But your update talks about you "talking" to a guy who you are crushing on and who is 5 years older. IF you are 13-15 - he is 18-20 and should NOT be trolling little girls (because THAT is what you are to him) for chats and ego rubs. The guys is USING the fact that you have a crush on him. That is why he comes and goes as he pleases.
If you can't cut the contact, what else can you do? He isn't GOING to all of a sudden realize that you are decent girl and he will treat you nicely for a change.
YOU might as well learn now... GUYS like that... don't change. He's found some kind of popularity and he is MILKING it for ALL it's worth (that means getting attention from AS MANY girls as he can) whether he LIKES them or not.
At some point HOPEFULLY you will realize that YOU get nothing out of this except hurt feelings. YOU can choose to ignore him, to delete his number (or even block it) but... YOU also think he will "change".... Until you accept that he won't, he will continue to USE you.
Also, JUST because YOU have a crush on him, doesn't mean he HAS to have one on you. It's called a CRUSH. Guess why? Because MOST of the time the feelings AREN'T mutual and people feel CRUSHED.
Sorry honey, you are wasting your time and your butterflies on the WRONG guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2015): 5 years older?? So he's either 18 if you are 13 or 20 if you are 15.
This man should NOT be speaking to you sexually at all!!
If he is it needs to stop, you do realize he could go to prison because you are under age!
Please speak to your parents about this.
It is called grooming not a relationship and I pray never a booty call.
Please see this man for what he is and talk to your mum.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 February 2015):
 You know, OP, Midnight Shadow is right :" booty call" is a slang term that has a strong sexual connotation and is is always used in a sexual meaning- it's not the same as " a fairweather friend " or " a fickle guy " as this one seems to be.
Therefore, at first, just like Midnight Shadow, I thought you were a VIRTUAL booty call, i.e. you were sexting- with an older guy. Which gave me the creeps a bit, and, it won't be superfluous to add- it is also a crime because you are still under age.
Luckily, it would seem you are only talking and... sigh. Why you girls want to learn the hard way. You've got a crush on him- nothing wrong with that- and he does not feel the same, he us only in it because he's a bit if a peacock and he wants constant female attention. You feed his ego and help him keep boredom at bay when he's got nothing better to do. I am sure that if you let things run their course, eventually YOU'll get sick and tired of his fickleness and of always having to play second fiddle to other girls , and it all will fizzle out . BUT, not before you've gotten your feelings hurt, your hopes got up for nothing and your pride crushed, many times over.
A little courage ... you DECIDE that the exchange is unbalanced,does not make you happy, you don't get what you want out of this .. and...zzzap ! Like pulling a Band-Aid, it hurts a split second then no more. If you drag it on, instead, it is going to be messier and sadder for you... Think about it, OK ?:)
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (14 February 2015):
 Honey, 5 years older is not okay until you're 18. I'm 19 and I'd find it a little odd to date someone that much older because we are at different life stages.
If he tries anything with you, it's illegal. Believe me, I understand having a crush on him, but it's not okay for him to talk to you if there's remotely any flirting.
You do need to cut contact with him and I know why you want to, but don't want to, at the same time; I've been there - but it's not healthy to keep this communication going with him :/
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A
female
reader, xKittyx +, writes (14 February 2015):
xKittyx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's not my age, he is 5 years older...
Thank you for the answer, Midnight Shadow :) But I can't keep away. I tell myself that I'll stop the contact, but I just can't stop...:)
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (14 February 2015):
"Booty Call" implies, well, calling over for "some booty" - I've never heard it used for anything but sex.
Like I said, he hasn't said he has feelings for you but, either way, I wouldn't advise sticking around waiting for someone who enjoys the ego stroking and only wants to talk to you when the others aren't available.
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A
female
reader, xKittyx +, writes (14 February 2015):
xKittyx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe've just been talking... but my friend said one of the terms for "booty call" was when he keeps coming back because other girls go.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (14 February 2015):
When I read the title and saw your age, I could have cried. Luckily, the term "booty call" was virtual and not sexual. Having said that, you wrote booty call and that term carries a lot of weight, since it means having sex when he feels like it - have you been "sexting" or just talking?
Let me get it out of the way; if you've been sexting, that *needs* to stop right now and it will be harder to undo, so we need to know so that we can give you advice to help you out of that situation.
If it's "just" talking, then you can (and probably should) just stop all contact because it's affecting you. That said, he never claimed to like you as more than a friend, you assumed he did.
Basically, he's a typical guy your age who enjoys the ego boost, if you don't like it (understandable) it would be wise to stop talking to him for good.
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