A
female
age
30-35,
*xidigitxx
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and 9 months now. When the relationship started everything was wonderful and perfect and i was so in love with him, it was amazing. About six months into the relationship we started fighting a lot, and it never got really bad or unbearable until about 2 or 3 months ago, now we fight almost every day and sometimes they get really bad. I know that i love him and i care about him, but sometimes I feel like i don't like him. We have nothing in common it seems and I am really scarred from all the fighting. I just can't imagine breaking up with him, and I really don't want to. I would rather fix the problem if that is possible...please help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (1 June 2007):
 Let's speak about your type of relationship.
6 months is period for learning each other.
During this time you both are avoiding potential challenges.
In your own words "i was so in love with him, it was amazing"
So, you have similar or compatible values, but not identical.
18 months is time when you should start search for midpoints.
You say: "I would rather fix the problem if that is possible"
And this is possible, take it step by step - you will make it.
"You are too young" is the most unhelpful advice on this site.
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (31 May 2007):
 You are still young and this relationship is a lot to take to take on at any age.
It has not been a short relationship either so it must have started when you were even younger.
New relationships are always good at the beginning but as time goes on we all become complacent with one another and that means we sometimes don't take the other person's opinions into consideration.
You say things were fine until about 2 - 3 months ago. What changed then?
Was something major happening at that time as it seems to have been the catalyst of what is now causing you to both fight on a daily basis so there seems from what you are saying that there is still a lot of unresolved issues going on here?
I think if you can pinpoint what happened then you may have a chance to put it right.
You do need to talk though and I mean sitting down and talking as maturely as possible, even over a takeaway or something.
Having gone through a lot of counselling with my ex, the one thing all of us tend to do it react first and not listen to what the other person is saying.
So try this sit down together and say right we need to sort this out and each of you has 5 minute slots to say what is bothering you about the relationship and see if you can discover a bit more about what the other person is thinking.
If your bf does not agree to try and do this then you may have to resolve yourself to the fact that things are not going to improve and rowing on a daily basis is not doing either of you any good as it means that this relationship is not going to get better but worse. I only mean if he won't talk about things OK.
Keep us posted eh!
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
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