A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:this thing called life....kinda sucks when not in europeso recently i have come back from one of the greatest experiences of my life. i spent 4 full months in france studying abroad and although i hated it at first, i soon after found i loved it and was more than sad to leave my life in france behind. i am happy to be back with my family, friends, and boyfriend but some aspects of my life feel so very different as i suppose i should expect them to be. i am super excited to be living in my house in eau claire this next year but there are certain things about having a house that are currently stressing me out. for example....furniture. i have more than enough seating for my house and i apparently have not one, but two bedroom sets to choose from to use in my room. and i was under the impression that i was going to get my grandmothers green set. i sooned learned that my dads gf aka the witch had other plans. my dad owns a rental property in galesville and the witch's parents are renting it starting june 1st thru the end of september. she wants it to be furnished for them and without telling my dad or myself she promised MY grandmothers set to her parents for their use during that time. well now i wasnt upset by this because she then said that i would be getting my dads and hers old set because she had ordered new stuff for them. i was ok with this because hey atleast i still had something to use. well wrong again, because just this evening she told me i dont get either until the end of sept. but after that i could have both. ha ha...she is so amused with herself. grrrr. this is frustrating to me because now i have no set and i am to live for an entire month of school with no where to put my clothes and things?? i think not. im sooooo flippen angry at that stupid witch. the best part of it all is she didnt bother to tell my dad about any of this. i hate her i hate her omg i hate her. on top of all this stupidness with furniture i have awkward feelings about my friendships with the people that mean so much in my life. other than my newly acquired friends from my france experience and my amazing boyfriend i feel that i have lost touch with my so-called friends from home. i feel like everyone is so distant to me and im lost. they were my family my life and now i feel like certain people couldnt care less. i have tried a few times talking to my best friend online and everytime she is busy or says she will talk to me later but never does. im hurt and feel confused. i feel that everything that once was with many of my friends is slowly crumbling. people have changed so much since my being gone as well i know i too have changed. im not sure what to do. im sad. i hate this feeling. its bordering an on-off depression where im only happy when with andrew. how is one supposed to cope with the feeling that your friends dont want you anymore? this summer is going to be really hard. i almost would prefer to start the fall semester right now just to avoid summer. im in la crosse for the entire summer so that i can remain with my boyfriend because i refuse to be separated again from him. but i feel this summer is going to suck. i have not many friends here. my best friend is moving to EC for the summer. my other best friend is working 40 hr weeks. my boyfriend is working 40 weeks. my good friend just moved to Point for the summer. my other really good friend is going to hawaii for most of the summer. i feel alone. i wish i were back in europe with my new friends from Pau. i miss them all so much. i love them. they share something with me that people from home could and will never understand and because of that. they all have a little piece of my heart. so in short. the witch is a manipulative naughty word (i dont swear but you ppl know what i want to say), i feel like my friends have forgotten me, and i miss france more than anything.im not sure exactly what im asking...but any input or advice is appreciated because right now...this thing called life.....DOES kinda suck when not in europe
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): Well, I understand feeling alone, and that you need reassurance from your friends, one way to get it is to communicate what is troubling you, open up and say that you need some reassurance that they still care...People are busy, and they don't spend a lot of time during the day thinking about you, it does not mean that they don't care, but they have lives of their own. You are feeling a little lost because your life needs to be rebuilt a bit in Wisconsin. You can do this, but instead of hanging onto the past, cherish your old friends, but get some new ones, too...friends enrich our lives, but don't mourn the loss of friends because it is inevitable, people grow up, move away and some marry and have children, you will always be a part of who they are and you them.
I get the alcoholic witch, but she is part of your family now, like it our not, your dad chose her, and she has extended family of her own....from what I can see, she took the grandmother's bedroom set not thinking it had sentimental value to you, then realized it and is giving it back, she does not seem like she is trying to do purposely what makes you unhappy, she maybe just did not think first to ask you.....my grandmother's set was sold after her death, no one liked the style, when it comes to practical pieces of furniture, sentiment does not enter into it for a lot of people, including myself.
Seriously, though if you are feeling really bad, I highly recommend entering therapy, it is a nice thing that you can do for yourself....maybe your relationships are really getting you down and you need to talk to a professional to process this and get through it to the other side....we all need help at some point in our lives, and a site like this is really just not equipped to effect a huge change in your outlook and behavior.....don't be afraid, talk to more than one therapist until you find one you think cares about you and gets you and who wants to help you.
Take care.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (31 May 2007):
 You I think have reached the age where the saying "You can't go home again" comes to mind. I know that the first time I returned home after I'd left for college, it felt totally different. I suddenly felt like a visitor. It was that way up until I had my own place after college and had my first real job. As far as your friends are concerned, they can come an go, sometimes you have a friend for life but not always. You need to get out and socialize, meet new people. It will be easier for you in the fall when you move to your new place, but you can try just a little bit this summer can't you? And by the way your step-mother is totally wrong to let her parents use your grandmother's things. Some people have no class. Good luck, honey the summer will fly by, it always does.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): i posted the blog/question about my recent situations. i think that rhythmandblues doesnt quite understand i wrote. i studied in france. i dont live in a house there i live back home in wisconsin, usa. the furniture that the witch took was furniture that i was supposed to get after my grandmother passed away. its not worth any great amount its more sentimental and its my family's not hers. she just took what was in my family w/o asking to use for her family. she and i have a sometimes mutual toleration but nothing more than that. she has hated me since day one because i dont put up with her alcoholic behavior. i do realize how lucky i am to be given the bedroom set from my grandma...but thats just it...it is from my grandma not the witch and she has just assumed possession of it.as far as the friend situation goes. i have tried many times to contact them because i missed them so much and still do, but i sense that they dont care. i feel like there is only so much that a person can give of themselves without the reassurance that your friends care too. im just at a loss of what to do. i know they have changed in the time that i was gone and that i too have changed but a true friendship should last through much more than distance. right???i do appreciate all that i have been given, i just feel alone right now.thanks for listening
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): About your loss of friends...check your attitudes here. Your friends at home may be envious of you and your stay in France. If you come home complaining about how you miss it, complaining about the witch and the gift of furniture, your friends are going to distance themselves from you. Did you make an effort to keep up these relationships while gone, or did you expect to just pick up where you left off....people do change, they move on, time does not wait for anyone....your friendships will most definately change in life whether you move away or not...you need to always be open to making new friends wherever you are....life happens and it is mostly out of our control...your depression stems from you feeling this lack of control, just let it go, you will be fine if you just decide to be.....if you really are feeling depressed for more than 2 weeks, you need to tell your doctor about this as it may be chemical imbalance and you need treatment....good luck with it all...
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): Well, you have a high class problem, you have a house in France, and you have people GIVING you their furniture. Did you ever hear the old phrase, beggars can't be choosers? The witch is giving you back two sets of bedroom furniture, which I am guessing is valued somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 to 10 grand....all free....something that your family worked hard to get, and it is being given to you as a gift to start your young life.
Many people your age do not have the opportunities or the advantages that you have...it sounds to me like you are spoiled.....and a dose of gratitude for what you have is in severe order...I think your life sucks attitude stems from you lack of gratitude for the priveledges that you were lucky enough to be born into....I am sorry, I cannot feel sorry for you for your delima, I feel sorry for you that you don't get it, that you don't understand the key to your own happiness is only inside of you and born out of your attitudes about life and people. You my dear, need a new attitude!
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (31 May 2007):
 I lived abroad last year and the things that struck me when I got back was that I didn't feel like I fit in at home anymore. Would you say that's true of you too? It's hard to be in a place you don;t feel you belong to. It's also erally hard to move back home after a taste of independence and have to deal with living with people who want you to behave a certain way again. It'll get easier and you will start to get used to it again. Just try to be patient with people and be as easygoing as possible. Whether they deserve it or not you've lived as an adult now. Show them that you can be more mature than they are.
CD
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