A
female
age
36-40,
*ostnNotinLove
writes:Hey everyone, I hope that someone out there might have some helpful advice... I have been married for about 4 yrs and have a 5 yr old son from a previous relationship that went sour...My husband has been my sons father since he was 8 months old they love each other deeply and are inseprable, my husband is a great father and very hardworking too hardworking he works all day comes home to sleep and then works all night...he has never not even for a second stopped being a wonderful father but our relationship is anything but healthy we argue all the time their no intimecy and sadly I dont love him anymore... he is a great man but I dont want to be with him anymore.... I recently told him that I was leaving him... he is freaking out and I think its more about our son than for me.... the thing is my family instead of being their for me...is telling me that I am going to hurt my son and that I should really think things through....I know I dont love him but should I sacrifice my happiness? please help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2013): I would say if you will run after your feelings you will do that for the rest of your life, I am a man in a similar situation, my son is 8 and my woman wasnts out. The thing is we both never had decent homes growing up and I really wanted to give my son that, more over, we've both seen it and done it all, there's nothing new out there, I wish we could give our son a chance of being raised by 2 parents
A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (9 December 2009):
 I don't know how much more information you want? You asked us if you should sacrifice your happiness, we told you what we think!
You also have to provide us with the whole story if you want to us to be of more help, in your original question you made him out to be this dream guy, well if he has cheated, then he obviously isn't.
Sit down with him, tell him exactly how you feel - and make sure he is really listening to you! Tell him he has one more chance to try and fix things, and if he refuses to get professional help, you're packing your bags and leaving.
As for your family, yes you do have to think about your son's happiness, but you can't let yours suffer for it. If you don't want to be with your husband anymore, then it's your choice, no one elses! Just try to stay on good terms with him to make it easier for your son, and make sure he still gets to see his 'dad' regularly
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female
reader, LostnNotinLove +, writes (9 December 2009):
LostnNotinLove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk I think that a little more information would be helpful for the advice providers... I use to love this man with all of my heart and at the start of our relationship he cheated with 2 different women and still stood by his side I have asked him for a year now for us to get help and he has denied the love has slowly died and he new it was happening....we argue 6 days out of the week and we are maybe once a month if that .... I have tried and now i have given up
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 December 2009):
 I'm with oldersister. You haven't even begun a fight to save the marriage. You've given up. On a great guy, and from the sound of it, one who is working very very hard to provide for you and the children.
What do you argue about? And by intimacy, do you mean physical intimacy, sex, or emotional intimacy, closeness?
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female
reader, lusho +, writes (8 December 2009):
I would try councelling because you should try to make it work for your sons sake and yours because you two may be able to get through this with some help and you could start to love him again. If you do attend marriage councelling and you feel in your heart you have made an effort and really really tried and still its not working then theres not much you can do is there, because if it cant work and you saty with your husband for your sons sake only this could be worser for him than better especially if you two are arguing all the time, plus kids pick up on vibes and tensions as it is.
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reader, LilPixie +, writes (8 December 2009):
Leave him if you feel that is right for you. But give your son and your husband the chance to see each other.
Breaking up is never easy, but there are ways to make them easier.
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female
reader, Sminky +, writes (8 December 2009):
 I agree with CaringGuy, you can show your family that you are trying through counselling. Perhaps even a trial seperation would be good, if you give your all for the sake of your son, you can remain friends with this man and keep him in your sons life. Just make him aware that you need to fall in love again and if this doesn't happen after an agreed amount of time and effort from you both, the relationship will have to be over but then you can both move on.
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reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 December 2009):
If you don't love him, you have to follow your heart. Because one day you might meet another guy and something might happen. Follow your heart, not someone else's. If there is any chance that you could do counselling to see if anything can come back, then try that. But to be honest, it would damage your son more if he ever found out you only stayed with him for his sake. I think you need to follow your heart.
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