A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm really confused right now. I started a job 3 months ago and met this guy called Dan through one of the people at work. We became friends and about a month ago he kissed me and told me he liked me. I was a bit unsure at first because he's a bit of a player and has lots of casual relationships but he told me he really liked me and wouldn't mess me about as he knows what it's like as he had a bad breakup with his ex which I know about. He also said he would wait until I was ready for sexWell we started seeing each other and literally spent every night I wasn't at work together. He kept telling me he liked me and was really affectionate and passionate with me but then it's like a switch went off inside him and he changed.Last Monday he was perfectly fine with me, he even asked me a few days before to go to a friend's birthday thing with him next week. However, we went out with friends Tuesday and he kinda blew me off at the end of the night with just a hug which I thought was odd as normally we spend the night at his or mine so I asked him to meet me the next day, I went to his yesterday and he was normal with me again and was hugging and kissing me. We went to the pub with friends and when we walked home, he kissed me really passionately but then suddenly said that he didn't think we should see each other anymore as his head is still messed up from his last relationship, he really really likes me but isn't ready for a relationship, but then he said there wasn't any chemistry between us and it didn't feel right and he likes me and respects me too much to use me just for sex but what I don't get is, he was the one chasing me at the beginning of the relationship. I'm not pretty or skinny and he didn't want to rush me for sex so it didn't seem like it was casual to begin with but then that's what it sounded like when he said he didn't want to use me for sex. Nothing he said was making sense.I'm just so goddamn confused. I feel humiliated because our friends will know what's happened and I feel used, like he was only with me because I was there and I can't help thinking someone better has come along and he likes her. I keep crying because I have really really low self esteem and I just feel really ugly and rejected and basically a mess. Why do you think he did this?
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at work, his ex, kissing, player, ready for sex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (7 September 2007):
 I had the same thing happen with a girl I was seeing, I feel like shit since then so I can see where you are coming from.
Most guys don't do this, alot of guys are just looking to hit it and quit it, but most of them won't let on they really like someone like that, when in actuality they just want a fuck buddy. either he really didn't think you guys had anything going, or he's a complete douche.
A
female
reader, bday121  +, writes (7 September 2007):
 This guy is a total jerk. He's not worth your time or tears. It's unfortunate but he was probably using you as a rebound.
Listen, girl, you don't need any man like that in your life. You're a million times better off without him. Just like the last poster said, every woman is gorgeous and that includes you. You're a young beautiful girl with a lot going for you, and there are thousands of decent men on this planet who would like nothing more than to make you happy. Forget about this loser, go out and have fun, and you're going to find a great man who'll treat you right.
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A
female
reader, Tray-Lou +, writes (7 September 2007):
I think he did this because he is a dick men always do this whenever they break up with someone they just use another girl so they have someone to be around i have been in the same position and fell for it because i really liked him but then after a while i realised he was just an idiot and forgot him and fell in love with someone i really liked. you need to remember all women are gorgeous in their own way and if a man even starts to play you for a fool you put him in his place and let them know you arent a fool you need to go out and have a good time meet some people and enjoy life forget about him if he tries to talk to you make him look the fool and tell him sorry thers no chemistry be a strong and confident woman and you will radiate beauty all the time, dont let no one blow hot and cold with you ever again. ignore him live your life been FABULOUS honeygood luck
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