A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have recently started an affair with a married guy at work. He is a lot more senior than me, older than me and married. It started off with him inviting me to a working lunch and I genuinely thought that's all it was. We then went out again and I realised he liked me and then on the third time when we ended up kissing. We've now been out 7 or 8 times and it's turned into a full-blown affair. We haven't slept together yet but I think it's just a matter of when. The problem is, he seems to be getting keener and keener and I am just in this for a bit of fun. It made the days at the office more exciting, I like the attention. Should I speak to him and manage his expectations and risk losing the fun we're sharing? Or let it run its course, he may get bored in time?
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affair, at work, his ex, kissing Reply to this Question
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male
reader, christopher422  +, writes (18 June 2009):
 It allways starts off as "just wanting to have a little fun" but most times (unless you are a cold unemotional player) you will find your self all of a sudden "emotionally involved" not a good place to be in that kind of situation.If at this moment you are still "only having fun" do your self a favor and jump off the boat, cause the next stop is heartbreak island.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): you just wanto to have fun.........at this married mans expense. well he certainly expects sex from you because you have given him the big come on. and you know yourself, sex is certainly what you will deliver. you have guaranteed it. afterward plse don't cry wolf when it f*cks up your life. and it will. by then its all about games for you so welcome to the biggest game of your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): you just wanto to have fun.........at this married mans expense. well he certainly expects sex from you because you have given him the big come on. and you know yourself, sex is certainly what you will deliver. you have guaranteed it. afterward plse don't cry wolf when it f*cks up your life. and it will. by then its all about games for you so welcome to the biggest game of your life.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (7 June 2009):
 Please rethink both having an affair and having a relationship with someone at work. It's a serious minefield. Have you thought about the consequences of other people at your job or his wife finding out? You could end up losing your job and a lot of professional respect.Cut it off now and find a single guy to have some fun with guilt free.
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 Let it run its course. Dont get sexually involved with him. You will regret it. Never a good idea to mix work witj affairs. You are the one who will come out worst.
Well done for controlling yourself. No harm in a bit of clean flirting!
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A
female
reader, gRaa +, writes (6 June 2009):
 He obviously really likes you and chooses his actions carefully, if he did not choose them carefully, he myt have done something passionate on the first time you went out with him , or maybe sleeping together on the first time, that would be irresponsible. But, since he left it for a while so it was a surprising secret, it shows that he likes you more and cares about you so much, he was scared about what you would say and how you would react when he made a move onto you.
Although, I do find this quite disturbing when he is a married man and has feelings for somebody else, this is illegal and could cause fights between famalies.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): "run its course"?
If he is feeling love, and you are feeling "fun", then it is immoral of you to continue. But no more immoral than cheating, I suppose.
Yeah, do whatever you want to him, he shouldn't be cheating anyway.
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