A
female
age
41-50,
*pumie
writes:hi everyone. I just met this guy its been a week now, my problem I just don't understand him at all. we suppose to be happy but to my surprise we fight all the time. when we have to see each it must be on the street because where he stays he was sharing a place with his girlfriend but they have now separated so he is searching for his own place. what I don't understand about him is that he becomes so intimate on the street, he kisses me as if we are in our place and become arose right there on the and tells me to touch his private part. I'm not used to such things and I've mention to him that I don't feel comfortable doing all those things on the street. yesterday he tried to put his tounge on my mouth by force so I bitted it so now his angry and call me that he has never met such a woman in his life and doesn't wish to meet any like me. should I call it quits cause it seems like he doesn't understand that at this moment I need someone who going to take everything slow and respect me cause all he cares about is that I should take him to my home so that we could have sex. I've just lost my boyfriend of 8 years four months ago through suicide and I told him that I just want to have a friend but to him I just have to be submissive and do what he want. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (18 February 2014):
Dating means spending time with someone until you realize one of two things:
That you want to marry them or that they aren't right for you. Any other option seems like a waste of time to me... life is too short to date the wrong people.
So which category do you think he falls in?
A
female
reader, mpumie +, writes (18 February 2014):
mpumie is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you very much for your responses, its an eye opener. may God bless you all!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 February 2014):
 Just WALK (or run) from this guy it's been a week and he is already trying to get you to do things you are uncomfortable with, you think he will stop over time? No, it will only escalate..
Why do you think he and his ex broke up? I bet you, it's because of how he acts.
He is USING you and the fact that you are vulnerable because of the loss of your BF.
I'm sorry for you loss. Be with REAL friend and family so you can grieve without some PERVERT trying to force himself on you.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (18 February 2014):
 Yes you should quit!!!!!
This man is not what you think he is. He is a sexual predator who forces sex acts on vulnerable women.
He knows you are weak and at a low point in your life and he knows exactly how to make you do things you feel uncomfortable with.
You are a grown woman, are you seriously saying that you are not disgusted by his actions and don't know they are dangerous and wrong???
You have known him a week!!!!???? Why are you allowing someone to treat you like a piece of meat? Because he is showing you some attention???
This man IS NOT going to turn into prince charming and you need to realise there is a huge amount of danger here.
GET AWAY NOW!!! DO NOT get involved with him any further.
Men who are respectful and want to take things slowly DO NOT force women to perform degrading sex acts in private OR PUBLIC!!
You need to learn the difference and you need to learn it NOW!!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 February 2014):
 mpumie, I don't know what the culture is in South Africa but if a guy I knew for one week tried to get me to touch his penis in public I be so disgusted I would never see him again or give him the time of day. If a guy I knew for one week tried to kiss me while he's living with his girlfriend I would never see him again or give him the time of day.
I totally understand why you bit him on the tongue, though that was a bit violent, perhaps that is all he can understand.
Yes, call it quits, you owe this aggressive man nothing.
So sorry to hear about your boyfriend's suicide. Perhaps now would be a good time to find a group of people who are supportive and know what you are going through, a survivors' group may meet nearby.
Best wishes to you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 February 2014):
 So.... you and he don't have much in-common. Why aren't you just deciding that you and he should go separate ways???? .... and don't contact him any more????
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