A
female
age
36-40,
*eanne.od
writes:this is not a question as such.i would just like to say that i don't understand why people seek advice and then become completely arrogant when you say something they dislike. in their head they have the answer they want and therefore ask a question looking to get the same reply to give them peace of mind, but when anyone disagrees with this and opinionates their views, its like world war 3, all of a sudden you don't know the full story, you can't understand, it's like if you tell someone the truth, they hate it because they want to live in their own little world. i just think that sometimes the truth hurts but lying hurts twenty times more. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (22 September 2007):
When somebody writes a question here they are seeking others opinions to see if what they are thinking is the norm, and to hopefully read and pick up any thoughts they may not have thought about before.
I know that when I reply I try to write what I feel they need to know, maybe playing up something they have not recognised or playing down something that they have placed what I believe to be an un-necessary huge importance on.
When I reply I am genuinely trying to help - I wouldn't bother writing here if I didn't sincerely believe this.
You cannot predict peoples reaction sometimes where as someone who has spent a good amount of time thinking about a scenario is more or less insulted by the original poster who may not agree with what you have written. That is so sad.
As a helper I try to put as much stuff on the shelf as I can so the original poster can make a more informed choice.
The vast majority I believe show fantastic gratitude towards those of us who have answered but like life - you always get a small minority who think differantly by showing no appreciation whatsoever. Thankfully those are in a very small minority in here.
I will keep on answering as a genuine person who genuinely loves my fellow human beings on this planet.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): I know exactly what you are saying. Alot of what I have to say gets discounted and they do become irrage and inusulting.
I think if you are going to ask for advice, be prepared for some what seems harsh advice. They don't realize that we are many steps away from the situation and therefore we can see things more clearly.
They also don't realize that alot of what they say or write communicates more than they are wanting to say.
Self serving indviduals and those wanting their behaviours excused are the ones more likely to choose to become offended.
They fail to realize that they choose to come to this site, that there are many types of people offering advice and some of it may hit more to the truth and that scares them and angers them. They choose to be offended.
I find those who can take ownership for their part in the problem are more likely to seek REAL help and advice and broaden their minds in the process.
I say let them whine and be infantile about it-keep speaking your mind -be you.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (22 September 2007):
 This is way true. I know I get under some peoples skin. I see my rating go down, and it's like, another job well done. What I don't think they realize is when we tell the get out, it may not be because of their ability to have a good relationship, they might be fine, but the other person has problems, and they have to recognize and change their own behavior.
Some times you almost "in a nice way" tell them to bend over grab their head and pull it gently out of their ass and join us in reality.
All I have to say is keep telling, not what they want to hear, but what they need to hear.
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (21 September 2007):
 It amuses me when they give aunts/uncles "POOR" ratings on their columns because they didn't give the answer the questioner wanted to hear! :p x
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