A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Found out my ex gf had been secretly going to her ex bf house when she was telling me she was visiting her mum, sick nan, friends etc.When I confronted her she got mad and denied cheating. Personally I think she was sleeping with him – if it was all innocent; why lie and not just say she was visiting him? Ok so I ended it. I did so much for her: she lived with me for free, I paid off her loans, got her a job and a car, took her abroad etc so was upsetting someone could be so ungrateful. Her attitude hurt most. She was hostile, argumentative-not even a stread of remorse or guilt for what she had done and put me through. At times she even tried to justify herself saying that it was my fault somehow! On top of that now she has been telling a lot of lies about why we split up to a lot of people. Like she said ridiculous things like how I put a lock on the cupboards if I felt she was eating too much, that I would sometimes lock her in when I was at work etc. She has made me out to be really evil and bad to her. Of course I know that people who are my friends would know better and she doesn’t matter-but we live in a small community and gossip etc can be so bad. I am the victim here yet being treated like a culprit. I confronted her about it and she had no guilt etc and tried to justify herself for doing these things! It still hurts what she did after all I have done, despite everything she has done she doesn’t realise how good I was to her or appreciate everything I did, that I am left feeling heartbroken when she has no guilt or remorse and is happily going on with her life when I am the only one suffering, and on top of that-she is tarnishing my reputation. People say what goes around comes around – I wish I could believe that and perhaps she will get her come-upons. Sad thing is she will probably go through her whole life treating people this way and getting away with it. People like that seem to be able to. And she probably would never recognise anything good in me or have any regrets. I don’t wanna get her back at all – I guess the whole situation seems very unfair and me being the only one who has been affected badly (emotionally) while ppl like this can carry on fine, unaffected and happy.
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at work, ex girlfriend, heartbroken, her ex, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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male
reader, curious-borg  +, writes (14 April 2011):
Let that bitch go.Since you live in a small community. Only speak positively of her and only tell the truth.It won't take too long for folks to figure out whats what.In the meantime get you a better one... And she was most likely cheating.Try and get past it.
A
female
reader, LauraE  +, writes (11 July 2007):
Someone who makes a practice of telling this many ludicrous lies really will get her comeuppance, because big-time liars get caught out. OK some people will choose to believe a certain amount if they want to. If you feel it is badly affecting your reputation in your small community, just tell anyone that asks you that you aren’t going to get into trading insults, but that she has told some lies about you. Leave it at that. Your more dignified approach will be more believable. It’s hard to let go of anger when you have been treated really badly, but it is only hurting you, as you know. Make a promise to yourself that you won’t waste any more time agonising about her terrible behaviour. Get out there and have fun again.
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Hi there babes,
You seem like a really nice guy and I am sad to say if your ex cheated she is really being cruel to you right now, don't allow someone to make you feel this way you deserve a partner who will give back what you give not someone who tarnishes your name, you desrve only the very very best in life so you go out there and show them all your a good guy, start dating other girls and have a good time in life thats what we are here for sweet...
She may continue her life this way but trust me she will end up the lonely one or in a relationship that will make her unhappy but you wont because your going to get that girl who treats you the same way aren't you?
She will one day look back at this a realise what a fool she was but it will be too late..
I know it hurts babes but you really have to move on now put it down as a bad experience and believe you me you will one day find the right girl, what is meant to be wont pass you by trust me on that one!!!!
Chin up sweet hope this has helped you and given you some inner strength
Love Donna
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): !!!!!!!ORIGINAL POSTER HERE! PLEASE SEE MY REPLY!!!!!!!!!!!
In answer to that last message. As bad as it sounds I checked through her phone as she kept denying and making me feel I was nuts. I found incriminating text messages e.g. one of them said "After yesterday my little muffin is thinking of you all today and how much she needs some of your cream to top her off-wink wink nudge nudge" I mean what else could that be?! and when I presented it to her-she still denied it and came up with lame excuses about what they could mean - that particular one she just said he bought a special brand of whipped cream that she liked to have cake with. So she hasn't admitted it no-but after reading stuff like taht i am 95% sure was sleeping with him.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Hey babe, now first off, is this the only reason you think she may have cheated? There could be another reason she didnt tell you, If she had told you in the first place she was going to visit her ex, would you have been ok with it? She may have thaught you would have said no, and then she would have felt bad. You seem sure she has cheated, Why dont you try forget about her, i know she has ( in your eyes ) cheated you for money etc.. by living with you for free etc.. but it has been done now, this is the time you need to start getting your life back on track. I hope i helped, good luck. Mail me if you would like to talk x x
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