A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everybodySo I finally got the courage to leave my abusive (mix of verbal, physical and sexual) boyfriend this week. I ended up having to do it online because after talking with some friends they suggested doing it in person would be too dangerous as he has an unpredictable temper.Then today he messaged me as if nothing had happened. He wanted to know when I was coming to see him next! He just like won't accept that its done! He keeps saying "let's talk about it, we'll work on things, I promise I'll change" --which I've heard a million times. I am done with this. Hes tried to change in the past but a week later it started again.So how do I tell him to just leave me alone without him getting really angry? Eventually I will have to block his number, online stuff etc. He kind of scares me because he says "Its not over til I say it's over". I'm just sort of afraid that he will become a stalker and just won't accept that it's over. I'm afraid he'll become one of those psychos u hear on the news that attacked or killed their ex-gf because they couldnt accept the relationship was over. He's one of those that wouldn't listen to authority. I could put a restraining order in front of his face and he wouldn't listen. So basically, what do I do?
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): Do whatever possible to get out of that relationship because the longer you are together or the longer he thinks you are together the worst things could get,I was in that kind of relationship the only thing is that I was married to him after he threatened to kill himself if i dont marry him so I did and now we are divorced and I had to lay my life and both children on the life to seperate and after six long years of threats,embarassements,police,hiding,and loss of job I now am free,but it was a chance i took even though i got tired and thaught of going back I lay mylife down several times to get where i am today, and i am better off even though i dropped out of school to marry him,so I dont have an education, two chilren to which he does not support and have not accomplished anything i had planned for my life and cant do anything untill the kids have grown older,and cant have a relationship because he threatens anyone i see so while it is still early correct that chapter of your life,I cant tell you it will be difficult but at least your days will be less fearfull and more peacefull when it is over and pray,pray,pray his work might be slow but it's comming
A
male
reader, lonestarchalk1  +, writes (30 July 2009):
 Don't see the guy, he's dangerous, and you don't need to deal with trauma, you've probably already been traumatized by the guy as it is, you dont need any more.
later,
...............................
A
female
reader, Charlpop  +, writes (30 July 2009):
 This sounds really bad, and I hate to say this but it sounds like you should have gotten out of the relationship sooner. And I know that really doesn't help!
Depending on how much stuff you used to do with your ex, I think you should start going out with your friends more frequently, in particular places where your ex wouldn't normally go. This will hopefully show him that you have moved on from him, and he's no longer a part of your life.
However, if this doesn't work, and he does start bothering you a lot more, then perhaps you should think about a restraining order if things get out of hand. You can never be too careful, and if he's been abusive in the past, there's definately no saying he won't be abusive in the future.
I hope this helps, and good luck!
...............................
|
