A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just don't feel my boyfriend loves me, but he keeps on saying it over and over, but simple things he does makes me think and wonder does he really loves me. I've been hurt very bad with my previous boyfriend but I still thinks about him each and every day but I will never take him back, because I know that things will never work out. Sometimes I just think for myself: I will never ever love anyone as much as I did love my ex boyfriend. I have a problem..... the boyfriend I have now, I'm just not sure if he really loves me.... he keeps on saying that I must never hurt him please... what must I do... I am just not sure about him, but that thought only comes up in my mind sometimes but I care about him and can't imagine my life without him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Ur ex is an ex for a reason and you can't blame your current man for something your ex did. U learn from the past and do your best to ensure it doesn't happen again, but if you keep living in the past you'll never be able to move on with someone else.
Blokes don't find it easy telling someone they love them(I waited over a year for it) so if he says it, he means it.
leave your ex in the past where he belongs. Don't loose something good for something that's not going to happen.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): sweetie. get over your ex! he is in your past, andyour boyfriend now sounds like he loves you very much, so dont blow it!!!If i still liked the guy that i did last year, I would forget about it because i love my boyfriend!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): thanks alot for the answers i really find it helpful and i'm thankful for it. it made me think twice, and correct me if im wrong but i think i'm actually the problem coz i'm a bit confused. but thanks again and keep well. LOVE xxxxx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 Hi
You will love someone as much as your ex. It seems like that now, we have all been there n done that. But honestly, i adored an ex, and like you, knew it wouldnt work but still never met anyone i thought as much of, took a couple of years but you get there in the end.
Your current guy isnt daft, he knows you adored your ex & it makes him feel a bit insecure.
I dont know what the answer is to that. But maybe because you dont yet feel you love him like you did your ex, you wonder if this guy really loves you like he says he does & just says it? Maybe no matter what he does, it wont be like the ex yet?
Good luck.
C xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): i say you believe him.
It is probably hard but at times, give that person the benefit of a doubt.
That said, i don't blame you at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): honesty is the best policy - if you are woried about hurting his feelings then i would advise you to do it gently. you may doubt his feelings for you because you are so unsure of your own feelings. maybe you rushed into this relationship and it might be a good idea to spend some time alone to figure out what it is you really want.
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 For the most part there are only two times guys say "I love you" to a girl:
1. If theyre just trying to get some.
2. If they actually love you.
Since he's your boyfriend he probably does love you, in myopinion you have to be a bit of a desperate pig to tell a girl you love her just for action.
He probably just has a hard time showing that he loves you. Being able to tell a girl you love her,and frequently is a pretty big thing in my opinion. Most guys who arn't serious (myself included) get weirded out by the L word unless they actually love a girl.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (22 August 2007):
 What are the things that he does that makes you doubt how he feels? It's possible that the grounds you have for doubting what he feels maybe genuine but its also possible that you doubt him because of your confusion about your own feelings and how you have been hurt in the past.
It seems that you are in somewhat of a tranisition from getting closure on your ex to moving on to having feelings for your bf which could account for your doubts. Each person is an individual so the question of if you will ever love somebody in the same *way* is something of a closed question because nobody will ever be your ex bf but that doesnt mean its not possible for you to love somebody else for who they are, equally but in a different way, if that makes sense.
I think that you need to sort through your own feelings first before you move on to assessing your bf's, you need to try and shift your focus away from all the pain you have been caused in the past to your present happiness, if indeed you are happy. Hope that helps and good luck.
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