A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Has my fiance cheated? My partner works away a lot and I recently found out that while he was away he went to a strip club and didn't tell me. When I found out he denied it at first but then admitted to me that he did go and all of a sudden came out with the comment I swear on our daughter's life (we have a 19 month old baby) that I didn't enjoy it one bit but in a conversation the other day he asked my to swear on our little girl's life that I hadn't cheated on him so I swore that I hadn't and when I asked him to swear he refused to and said he won't swear on our daughter's life, which I completely understand but why would he make me do it? He came out with it the other day when I found he had gone to a strip club. We have been together for five years and he spends a lot of time at home with us as a family, so I'm not sure if it's just me being paranoid.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): Guys love strip and the poor guy always at home, live him somee freedom and get yourself sexy for him, then perhaps you willbe his sexy striper
A
female
reader, RebeccaT +, writes (22 August 2007):
Right...he either has or he just just doent want to swear on his daughters life cause he loves her dont worry
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (22 August 2007):
 I wouldnt assume hes cheated because of any of that but my ex swore on his daughters life he wasnt lying once & admitted after we split he had. Said he felt terrible about swearing on her life, but there ya go, some people can do that. Im not religous or supersticious but if someone asked me to swear on my kids lives about something, hell would freeze over before i could do it & lie. But everyone is different about things. You probably know your partner better than anyone.
C xxxxxx
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 Well no one can give a 100% answer... But as for the strip club, I wouldn't take that to heart. That's just guys being guys, I'd probably goto a strip club even though I have a gf, I would never cheat on her though. Whole different ballpark imo.
As far as swearing on your daughters life, he either doesn't want to lie to you or he thinks its just not cool to swear on his childs life... Both of which are pretty honorable in my opinion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): Yeah he's cheated on you. And worst of all he is a compulsive liar. You are never going to find out the full truth of what he has been doing behind your back cause he has no problems whatsoever lying to you. That's TERRIBLE. This guy is bad because he is one of those guys who not only suck but really play with your mind and will drive you crazy because they are incapable of speaking a single word of truth. It's like a degree of craziness that he has. I'm serious. And it's going to drive you crazy. I mean you see what he does, makes you swear on your baby but then he won't...It's almost like an admission on his part but it's some sort of guilty pleasure of his to play games with your mind.
I would get the hell out of there if I were you.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (22 August 2007):
 Obviously what has caused you to think this is that he refused to swear on your daughters life the second time around over cheating whereas he did over the strip club and not enjoying it. I wouldn't say you are paranoid because on some level you have registered the slipt in behaviour and that has what has given rise to these feelings. Also his duplicity over the strip club has made you wonder what else could be going on.
I think the first thing you need to do is stop worrying you are paranoid (and therefore adding to your own emotional stress) for feeling this way because there are entirely rational grounds for how you are feeling.
However, I can't say for sure that he has just from that and neither to be honest can you unless you have something more concrete. What is clear is that something is making you both insecure in the relationship (probably him working away) and that he has the same insecurities as you (hence him asking you to swear you hadn't).
I think you need to open to each other and maybe tentatively try and start to communicating about how you are both feeling to clear the air. Hope that helps, take care :).
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